toni welsh wrote:
> I am very upset today, and I am feeling alittle strange, I sometimes
> think I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. They called the
> ambulance today, and hospice will be taking over now. I had to call and
> cancel my appt for the gyn tomorrow. I am feeling very evil and weird,
> and have even been mean to my husband, after being there all day, I do
> not know what is wrong. I think I will not get through this, it will be
> 4 years in 9 days that my mother died, and I had the strength to walk in
> the hospital where she died. I just am so scared to deal with this, and
> I have been so good for a long time with all of it!
>
> I just have been having panic attacks again the past week, and have not
> taken the time to take care of my bowels, I hope I can apologize for the
> mean temper that came out tonight, and where it came from. I hope all
> goes well for you and Ginni, Karla, I know it is awful to face more
> surgery, but hopefully it will give you both your lives back, I have
> been busy, but thinking of all you, and know God will watch over both of
> you. Why do you get the strength to do what you have to but now that
> the family needs me, I am not able to deal with it, I will hate myself
> after acting like this, and not knowing where it came from.
>
> I am just so worried about so many people and I love then all very much,
> I just do not know why I reacted like this. It is awful to be ashamed
> of yourself, but I think I have just pushed myself to the limit, and
> when I push too hard I do all the wrong things. I have been having a
> ahrd time with all of this illness with my father in alw, but I hope I
> can deal with it tomorrow.
>
> Thank you all for listening,
> Toni
>