Every night I come home (around 5.30pm) I check the forum. You know I miss it that you can talk during the day and then when I come home you are all in bed and I miss you.
My Doctor is still at her tricks re.the prescription for the DHC (pain killers). Jim rang yesterday and she was off ill (forgive me, but I actually hoped she was in pain herself). We couldn't get the pescription. Today she left work at lunch-time and again did not leave a prescription. Jim finally got it sorted tonight and I went to bed (it's my birthday) and cried my eyes out. Today I really do think that if it wasn't for Jim I could just take the whole bottle of tablets and go to sleep. All the pain would be over. Just typing that sounds so nice. I'm feeling very sorry for myself and I'm letting the pain beat me but I can't help it.
Anyway, I don't know if it was a sign or not, but Dr Wiseman came back to me today with the names of Doctors in the United Kingdom. Thank you so much Dr Wiseman. I'll try to contact them tomorrow and will also try to find a new G.P.
I'm going to tell you a prayer which was my mum's favourite, you will probably know it
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to him and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me"
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you"
The prayer helps a little although at the moment I don't feel like I'm being carried.
Please forgive me. I'm just having a really horrible day, people wise (my GP) and pain wise.
See you all tomorrow night.
With love to you all because you know how I feel.