At Wed, 23 Feb 2000, Tara S wrote:
>
>Hi, Tara. I only discovered this forum myself about 1 1/2 months ago. I know
>how you feel - we all do - and I just want to let you know how supportive
>and helpful everyone here is. I'm looking at another operation in the next 2
>weeks (only my 4th, which around here is apparently not all that much, but
>it's been more than enough for me!) for adhesions, rectocele, enterocele,
>and a partial bowel obstruction. I know what you mean about how other people
>react to your illness. All the doctors have told me for the past 4 1/2
>years, "You're constipated - take laxatives!" Which can not be good for that
>length of time! Then there's the doctor who, without bothering to even
>examine me AT ALL told me, when I had an ectopic pregnancy, that I had bad
>cramps, then doped me up and sent me home! I nearly died the next night! And
>of course, my favorite, the female ob/gyn from some Middle Eastern country
>who informed me that chronic abdominal/pelvic pain in women is often due to
>having had multiple sexual partners and left it at that!
>
>Then there is your family, and your friends. They try - but it's hard for
>them to understand. And you know they want you to just "Snap out of it!" -
>sometimes they even say it and imply it can't be as bad as you say,
>especially when the doctors don't seem to think you should feel that bad.
>
>As for getting married, my husband is a wonderful person who has stuck right
>by me, does all the housework, takes care of our son, takes care of me, and
>has been supportive in everything, including the times I've lost jobs
>because of this, resulting in us nearly having the power shut off or even
>losing our apartment or house. I will admit, we are separating sometime in
>the future when this latest episode is over, but it has nothing to do with
>him giving up on me or anything like that. We are still very close. Not only
>is he my best friend, he always will be.
>
>I guess the point I'm trying to make here is, you have to take the risk of
>losing people to find the one who will really be there for you. And don't
>give up - those few people who do stay are the best things in the world to
>help you keep your sanity.
>
>Take care - and come back often. It's a good place to vent when you need to.
>
>--
>Tara S.
>
>My name is Tara and I am suffering from this problem since I am 20 years
>old. My original surgery was for a very large ovarian cyst and 8 years
>and 7 surgeries later, I no longer have a gall bladder, an appendix, my
>left fallopian tube, my left ovary, and a few sections of my small
>intestine. I have not gone one year in the 8 without at least a month
>in the hospital and hyperal and lipids and portacaths and central lines
>and nasogastric tubes and lots of pain medication, etc. etc. You know
>the deal. I completely relate to everything you have all said on this
>forum and it is great to know that I am not alone. I, too, have felt
>like I wish it would just stop and I could just lay down to sleep and
>not wake up. I have days where I have only twinges of pain (twinges in
>my eyes, probably excruciating to the average person) and other days
>where I get pains that could make me suicidal or even homicidal. I am
>afraid 90% of the time that the next day will be spent in a hospital and
>I never plan too far in advance for anything. I am lonely because I
>feel as if nobody understands me or what I have been through. I have
>experienced emotions from people ranging from disenchantment to a
>complete fear that I have the "cooties" or something because I am ill
>all of the time. My doctors look sad and frustrated everytime they see
>me again in the hospital. I rarely see them in their offices because I
>am somewhat well when I am not hospitalized. My finances have suffered
>greatly and I feel as if I will never marry and find someone who is
>willing to stick with someone who spends as much time sick as she does
>healthy and cannot say that she will be well ever. I guess it is just
>nice to know that I am not alone. Who is Dr. Wiseman and why did he
>start this forum? Thank you all for your comments. I have found them
>both informative and helpful.
>