What wonderful letters of support you two ladies have shared with Stacey today -- and with others who post messages or who simply read messages on the Message Board!! I could not have said it better than you two ladies already have!!
Jenny and Robyne, I hope you didn't feel up-staged by the many websites that I posted directly after your messages. As a result of your wonderful messages of support for Stacey, I decided that this was a good time to go to the Archives and search for the websites concerning topics related to the information in your letters. Most of these topics are from the following website: http://www.restministries.org/ ...which has much more to offer.
I am sure you will find some helpful ideas in these articles -- ideas that will help you and your loved ones as you struggle with chronic pain.
Helen
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Re: Recovering from surgery
From: jenny low (jenklow@hotmail.com)
Mon, 12 Feb 2001 08:04:59 -0000
Stacey, When I read your email, my heart just wanted to reach out to you. Please know that you are not alone. You have all your friends here who will stick by you. You know I wonder what my husband feels like seeing me in pain all the time. I know it is a real burden on him because he has to do it all: work, come home and cook, take the kids places, get them showered and in bed, and on top of all that take care of me. And I fall apart when he gets a virus. What would I do in his shoes and he in mine? I don't know that I could handle it. There is a lot of stress on a relationship when there is one who is constantly ill. But are you in that relationship for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. I know that you said this is your boyfriend. This is surely a test though. How strong is your relationship? I see this being tested right now even with my friends. It is a hard thing to have to go through. But know that you are not doing it alone. The people here in the IAS have either already been through it or are in the process of doing it right now. I will definitely be praying for you. If you need to talk anytime, you can email me privately. You need to realize not every man who walks into your life is going to leave you because you are ill. There will be a man who will love you in sickness and in health. I know because I am fortunate to have one who does. There was someone else on this board, I believe it was Teresa, who went through something similar a few weeks ago. We all prayed for her and things worked out. Maybe there are other things that are burdening him down as well and just the build up of it all is too much to handle right now. Sit down and talk with him about it. My husband gets this way from time to time as we all do. Sometimes just sitting down with him and asking him what is REALLY bothering him makes all the difference in the world. And sometimes there are things I can do to take the load off of him. Even just giving him some time to himself helps. Men process things different than we do. You know "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus!"
It might take you a few weeks to really feel good after your surgery. Did they have to do a laparotomy? It really takes me a good 3-4 weeks before I ever feel better from that kind of surgery. Now I would be questioning my doctor about the bloating like a watermelon. That just doesn't sound good, especially when things were supposed to be fixed. Why don't you call and ask them about that? Do you have a post-op appointment anytime soon? You really, really, REALLY need to find out about that. It concerns me and I hope it does you. Please keep me informed about it, okay? I hope to hear from you soon. I am praying for you and am here to talk anytime.
Love and big hugs, Jenny
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Re: Recovering from surgery
From: Robyne Hinks (rhinks@eisa.net.au)
Mon, 12 Feb 2001 19:16:34 +1000
Dear Stacy,
This a tough time for anybody not just someone who has to go through all we have to.This is surely a testing time for your relationship and if it doesnt work then it is for the better.You cannot cling to small hopes Im sure if you read the thought for the day from Jenny then things should be much clearer You cannot afford to dwell on this you need all the strength and emotions to get you well.I hope I dont sound too bitchy but you must understand that you alone cannot make a relationship work It has to be twofold.When I was in hospital for eight months I certianly found out who my friends were.There was only Tom(my husband) who came everyday and my children on the weekends and two friends rang me about every two or three days and that was all and yes it does hurt but I learnt that I could not dwell on this it was interferring with my healing.You have all of us that understand you and what is happening to you and I reach out to you with a graet big hug and will keep you in my prayers.
Love always Robyne
Love and big hugs, Jenny