There are similarities between ARD and a Senior Citizen...

From: Helen Dynda (
Wed Mar 21 10:26:35 2001


I'm the life of the party...even when it lasts until 8 p.m.

I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, beano, and antacid.

I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.

I'm very good at telling stories...over and over and over and over.

I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

I'm so cared for: long term care, eye care, private care, dental care.

I'm not grouchy. I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds,children, politicians.

I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy...and that's just my left leg.

I'm having trouble remembering simple words like...

I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate.

I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.

I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.

I'm walking more ( to the bathroom ) and enjoying it less.

I'm going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors...absolutely nothing!

I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.

I'm in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA'S, AARP.

I'm wondering...if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

I'm supporting all movements eating bran, prunes, and raisins.

I'm a walking storeroom of facts...I've just lost the storeroom.

I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!!!!

Now, if I could only remember who sent this to me! You didn't, did you???????

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