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Dear Jackie,
I am so touched by the eloquent way you have been able to verbalize how I have felt for the last 4 years. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings in such a way. All of the sorrow, wondering why, the judgement and denial of others and the knowledge that the pain will never go away and wishing desperately that you can have a pain free day to live a NORMAL life again. You are not alone in this dream. I have come close to giving up inside my garage and car crying desperately for God to either take me home or give me the strength to go on. The only thing that stopped me was my sons face and sadness when I envisioned my husband telling him what I had done. I could not follow through even though I did not know how I was going to take even 1 more minute of the pain and hopelessness. Hang in there somehow God will give you the strength to hang on just keep asking. Lori