Re: hello --lurking

From: Sally Grigg (lostcst@mcn.org)
Tue May 8 14:40:16 2001


Dear Lynda, Lurkng sounds like fun, so nefarious. And what is lol? everybody says it, but I don't know what it means? It has taken my husband a LONG time to come to terms with me pysically ill. We've been together almost 30 years and he's used to lots of physical support, which I just can't do anymore. But I have realized that I've been treating him terribly badly for a while, because if I yell at any one else, they'll just leave and he always stays. But I've vowed to be nice to him even when I'm in physical distress and he's trying to be understanding of me. We don't always make our goals, because we are such different people, but we're getting better at not hurting each other. He says I'm too pushy. HAH. Last night, it was time to rotate the cows and other animals to the summer pastures and I went up in the car to do it, because I always do and he was there doing it his way and didn't want any help from me, which sounds petty and is, but it made me feel extra special good-for-nothing. But I didn't yell at him, after all he was trying to help, I guess (I'm really not very nice). Good luck to you. With kindest regards, Sally

Lgapmon@aol.com wrote:

> Hello everybody --
>
> I've been lurking for a short time now and really enjoy the list. Found the
> UK site first, then this one and its mailing list. Am going through the
> quilt and see so many things that resemble my own experience..."You need more
> to do, take 4 Advil, it's all in your head, wait longer and the pain will get
> better (when? when I've died of old age, right?! <G>) No, adhesions are
> real and so is the pain they cause. They have altered my life in an extreme
> way, on a daily basis, since my hysterectomy 19 months ago. I put a brief
> version of my experience on the quilt.
>
> Last Tuesday I had a laparoscopic diagnostic that revealed the extent of my
> adhesions. Obviously, I went to a different doctor than did the hyst...the
> one who did the hyst, on my many return visits to her, would hear me say
> things like, "It hurts so badly I cannot move...intercourse produces such
> violent, exquisite pain that I throw up and then cannot walk for three or
> four days..." and such. Then, what would she write in my chart? Nothing
> that sounded remotely like what I had said. She did what I think was a botch
> job on the hyst anyway, I had seemingly endless complications, bleeding,
> trips to go to the ER for more stitches on the cuff, truly a nightmare. It
> was done vaginally but it was not fun, nor easy.
>
> When I marched into her office in January of this year and demanded to know
> why I was in so much constant, horrid pain, she told me I was old (I am 37)
> and my ovaries probably had to go, that they were probably "going bad." This
> after months and months of my trying to get to the bottom of the problem.
> (My ovaries, BTW, have never given me a minute's trouble -- the hyst was for
> prolapse. Had rectocele/cystocele too.) She told me take 4 Advil, take hot
> baths, wait and see. She can take a hot bath, alright. Even my regular
> doctor was horrified when I finally went to him in despair in February.
> There was visible swelling of my lower right side from inflammation -- I am
> small and you can see things quite clearly...all he had to do it begin to
> palpate externally, and I thought I would die of pain. He put me on Vioxx,
> which took the edge off a little, and sent me to a new female doctor right
> away.
>
> The new doctor is a good listener and realizes how I've suffered. Things
> like walking have been horrible, bowel movements would send me right over the
> edge. During the surgery, the new doctor found that my right fallopian tube
> was stuck down where my uterus used to be. She took out the adhesions she
> saw, put my fallopian tube back where it belonged, took pictures of my
> ovaries which were perfect -- hubby saw the pictures while I was in recovery
> but I was too out-of-it to see them. I will see them when I go in for my
> post-op check up, I suppose.
>
> After the lap, I took Vicodin and had a few pain-free days. Maybe it was
> because of the Vicodin. Once I started trying to wean myself of the meds to
> see what things felt like, I experienced a good bit of pain... I hope it is
> because of the snipping and rearranging that went on, not because the
> adhesions already are starting up again. Is it true they can start as
> quickly as 3 days??? Horrors. I've also been very bloated since the lap,
> and am still having bowel trouble...that sharp pain that sometimes doubles me
> over. So I am taking my Vioxx again and doing a good bit of walking, resting
> in between. Anesthesia always makes me want to sleep for a few months <G>.
> But I still am in pain. Dear Janet, of this list, e-mailed me privately and
> told me it could take some time, I am grateful for her support and
> encouragement. Hope is an exhilarating feeling! Tomorrow marks 2 weeks
> since the lap.
>
> I hope I will be better now than I was before the lap, I am so afraid the
> pain will remain and/or get worse. I suppose if it does, it's time to save
> money for what, a trip to Pennsylvania or Germany, yes? <G> I love both
> places.
>
> My husband tries to be understanding, but he is a total linear thinker, a
> mechanical engineer (not saying this as a slam, it's just how he is). I'm
> studying to be a psychologist, when I am able to take courses. Have about a
> year left towards my BA in Behavioral Science. We've been married for going
> on 15 years and have two remarkable, wonderful boys, ages 5 and 9 yrs. Hubby
> thinks I am depressed (which I have been at times) and that I'm probably
> over-reacting, in general. He takes things the wrong way sometimes, thinks I
> am mad at him when really sometimes I am just venting, being mad in general.
> That negative energy from the really bad pain days has to go somewhere
> though, and even if I say to him, "This is NOT about YOU!" it still sometimes
> frustrates/angers him when I have an outburst. I don't stay mad, in fact I
> find good things in life every day. Joy and beauty are everywhere I look.
> My sense of humor has always been good, even though it has changed
> dramatically since the adhesions. I find humor in different places than I
> used to, lol.
>
> So that's a little about me, what I've done and been through...it pales by
> comparison to some of the things you all have undergone. I admire each of
> you, your bravery and tenacity. Thank you for sharing information, support,
> and of yourselves, you are a tremendous inspiration to us all. Now back to
> lurking, best to you all,
>
> Lynda Montgomery
> Scottsdale, Arizona
>


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