>----- Original Message -----
From: Lgapmon@aol.com
To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS"
<adhesions@mail.medispecialty.com>
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2001 12:25 PM
Subject: Off-beat humor for Colete :)
> OK, Colette, here ya go...some humor to get your mind off your troubles.
>
> DELETE now if you are easily offended...this is meant to be
tongue-in-cheek
> only and not to offend anyone. It is definitely off-beat but I got a kick
> out of it. I have NO idea who wrote it.
>
> Print it out and take it into the bathroom with you so you have something
to
> read in there. And then if you don't like it, you can "recycle" it.
> (Charmin is softer oh well) <VBG>
>
> Feel better soon Colette honey, we love you!!!
>
> WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
>
> JERRY FALWELL
>
> Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
> plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
> side." That's what "they" call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that
> chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say
> we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal
> media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
That
> chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as
> that.
>
> PAT BUCHANAN
>
> To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
>
> DR. SEUSS
>
> Did the chicken cross the road?
> Did he cross it with a toad?
> Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
> but why it crossed, I've not been told!
>
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY
>
> To die. In the rain.
>
> MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
>
> I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without
> having their motives called into question.
>
> GRANDPA
>
> In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us
> that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
>
> ARISTOTLE
>
> It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
> KARL MARX
>
> It was a historical inevitability.
>
> SADDAM HUSSEIN
>
> This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
> dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
>
> RONALD REAGAN
>
> What chicken?
>
> KEN STARR
>
> I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the
> president of the United States of America in an effort to distract law
> enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing
> our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the
> chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate
scheme
> to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my
staff
> intends to offer the chicken unconditional
> immunity provided he cooperates fully with our investigation. Furthermore,
> the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road
until
> our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been
> completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked
> information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be
homosexual
> in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to
offer,
> or at least to ruffle his feathers.)
>
> CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
>
> To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
>
> FOX MULDER
>
> You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
have
> to cross before you believe it?
>
> FREUD
>
> The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
> reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
>
> BILL GATES
>
> I have just released eChicken 99, which will not only cross roads, but
will
> lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook; also
> Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
>
> EINSTEIN
>
> Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
> chicken?
>
> BILL CLINTON
>
> I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
> Could you define chicken please?
>
> LOUIS FARRAKHAN
>
> The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the
> "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
>
> THE BIBLE
>
> And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,"Thou
> shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was
much
> rejoicing.
>
> COLONEL SANDERS
>
> I missed one?
>
> Love,
>
> Lynda M. in AZ
>
> "Give me beauty in the inward soul; may the outward and the inward man be
at
> one."
> - Socrates
>