Hi Helen,
Sharing my pain .............
I wake up each day with a smile on my face so that the pain won't know that I
feel it. Silly huh? Like a mind game for the body. Some days that smile
helps. My pain feels as if a hand has crawled up inside of me and keeps on
pulling and twisting everything inside of me, tighter and tighter the grip
gets. Then I have those wonderful knife pains that shoots up my rectum and
vagina (sorry for being so blunt) I'm in a car - driving...the pain gets so
bad I can't feel part of my left leg anymore. Now my right leg is doing the
same thing. The pain gets so bad, my lower constant back pain, my left lower
side pulling, stabbing, twisting pain - I vomit. When I finally feel my leg
come back to life, I vomit. The pain doesn't run down my whole leg, it stops
almost at the knee cap. If I eat or drink too much, I feel as if my whole
insides are on fire and I just want to explode. I can't say yes to future
plans, just lets see how I feel that day. When the day comes, I go to that
birthday party or social gathering - and for 2-3 days after that, I'm laying
around the house in extra pain, but I have a smile on my face because I made
it to the party or social gathering. When I can't make the party, my heart
hurts. I feel as if I've let down the person or people who were expecting me
to come. What helps, are people like yourselves. You know what my feelings
are when I say - it hurts - you have the same hurt. When I'm down - you lift
me up. If I have a question on a medication or some medical lingo - you
educate me. Thank God for all of you..........and may we all see pain free
days soon and forever.
With hugs and love,
~Chrissie xo's