<< My whole problem w/ all of this is that my beautiful son is only 3,and I cannot be a normal Mommy for him. That makes me bitter, ya know? >>
To him, you are a normal Mommy. He won't know anything other than what you give to him. Give him love in abundance, and discipline when he needs it. The rest will fall into place. He will think the sun rises and sets on you, he will love you no matter what. You're his Mommy.
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Stay open to what the future holds. G-d will take care of you. Your son doesn't miss the old you -- he loves you for being who you are right now today, and for loving him. You can teach him that people are good even if they can't run the Boston marathon -- what a great thing to learn young! Not to judge people by what they cannot do, but to judge them by what they can (and do) do.
There is a story I once heard about a woman who is in a similar situation...she had become disabled and was bitter she could not raise her kids as an able-bodied, active mother. In a conversation with G-d, He listens to her describe her pain, hears her cry about her broken body and all the things she no longer can do. His response? "You think I made a mistake?" She thought about this, then realized she was made the way G-d wanted her, she was where He put her. She then decided to trust Him and dwell on her blessings.
We don't always understand His plan or like the path we are on today, but if we trust it is where we are supposed to be, He will do the rest. He always takes care of us in His time, and gives us what we need for today.
I hope today is a very good one for you, with lots of hugs and love, and NO pain!
Love,
Lynda M. in AZ
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery