Hi Lynda,
Thank you you did get me to laugh ! although the jumping up and down
would hurt to much and gosh i want my hairLOL!!! She is having it done
at good samaritian and the dr that is doing the surgery has been doing
it for 25 yrs and does 6 kids a week! I guess that should make me feel
better huh??? Well guess what it does'n ok it does a little LOL!!! I for
get she has more bounce than i do lol!! She is a good kid and healthy
thank G*D for that!!!Please just reassdure me i'll be finee thank you
love ya
Colette
> >Hi Colette -- > >You wrote: > ><<But my little girl is 3 yrs old and >she is going into the hospital on July 30th for dental work!! They are >going to pull the 4 top front teeth, and cap some of the bottom teeth >and whatever else maybe done! They are going to do it under general >anethesia which is making me a nervous wreck! I'm afraid something bad >will happen i don't know why but she is my life i need her!>> > >OK, sit down in a soft, overstuffed chair...lean back and take a s-l-o-w, >deep breath. Hold it til you count to ten and exhale slowly, counting to >ten. Then leap up, jump up and down and scream and pull your hair out <G>. >*kidding!* > >First off, I'm really sorry your daughter needs surgery. It is worrisome but >believe me, she'll do great. Kids are resilient. They bounce back like >nothing ever happened. My older son, who will be 10 in Sept. (how is THAT >possible?!), had surgery when he was 5 years old. Apparently a spider bit >him on his upper eyelid, just below the brow...the bite never healed properly >because of the location -- it formed a little cyst that grew larger and >larger. We tried heat compresses and manipulating the cyst but still it >grew. Finally surgery was the only option. He came through it like a champ. > Hardly even has a mark where the incision was to remove the cyst, either. > >The best thing you can do for your daughter and yourself is stay calm. As >they prep her for the procedure, you will need to make sure you are not a >nervous wreck. If you are calm, she will be, too. > >Bring one of her favorite toys to the hospital and keep her distracted while >they insert the IV. Once that is in, they administer the stuff to make her >relax and she will be home free. > >It helped our son to know when he woke up, we would have a specific toy he >had been wanting for months there, ready for him. (It was a Lego Rescue >Raiders jet, complete with little Lego people!) As the kids wake up from >general anesthetic, they sometimes are a little grouchy. Takes them less >than a day to throw off the anesthetic, then the job becomes keeping them >still while the wound heals! > >Second, while it is wonderful, normal and admirable for you to love your >daughter so very much, try not to put too much responsibility on her for your >own well being. She's three years old. She needs a mommy who loves her >because she is who she is. It's okay for us to have bad days and be grouchy >with pain, and certainly our children are the best "bright spots" on the >horizon. Especially when our spouses are not always fonts of never-ending >compassion. Our kids cannot be the center of our world, however -- they are >the center of the one we help them to create for themselves. > >I know you can't help being distraught and I don't blame you...but this isn't >another thing that should make you go, "Just what I need...." this isn't >about you at all, it's about a little girl who needs you to be loving, calm >and strong so she will look back at this as a decent experience. > >Please take what I am saying in the way it is meant (with love and kindness), >from someone whose parents put way too much on her way too early...It's no >fun to be everything to your parents. They never want to let go or see you >for who you are, and their happiness/sadness in life rests squarely on your >shoulders. Who can carry that burden at all, much less effectively? > >The day comes when either you agree to lose yourself within them completely, >thus giving up your own life. Or you have to leave them permanently, >possibly destroying the relationship, because you can no longer stand >propping them up. I will make mistakes raising my children, I know I will. >But I will never expect them to be responsible for my happiness, or my >sadness, in my life. > >Let her be a little girl, love her, sing to her, hold her...she will be fine, >and so will you. :) > >There is a passage in Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet" on children that I think >is one of the most beautiful pieces ever written about, and for, them: > >Your children are not your children. >They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. >They come through you but not from you, >And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. > >You may give them your love, but not your thoughts, >For they have their own thoughts. >You may house their bodies but not their souls, >For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not >even in your dreams. >You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. >For life goes not backwards nor tarries with yesterday. >You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. >The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with >His might that His arrows may go swift and far. >Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; >For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is >stable. > >Love, > >Lynda M. in AZ > >"Man is born to live and not to prepare to live." >- Boris Pasternak