I would hazard a guess that you're right about the barium, although that is little comfort, I know. The depression is understandable - I've been going through phases like that for the past three years, ever since I started having problems. It's hard to accept that you simply can't do what you feel you should be doing and want to do without suffering for it afterwards - and that includes having sex, which I've always considered to be one of the greatest and probably safest anti-depressants ever invented, although just as addictive as the prescription ones *grin*
Yesterday I had a really bad day, and it was suggested that I stay in bed today to rest. When I got up this morning and started into my day - which was supposed to include about 8 loads of laundry (curtains and bedding from the trailer which is all covered in construction dust and cat hair from the renovations we are conducting and the house being inhabited by only our two cats for the past two months) - I was dragged away from the house to keep me from over-exerting myself. I only did 3 loads of wash instead of 8, because I ran out of detergent and Chester wouldn't take me to get more. That way he didn't have to worry about me wearing myself out. I can take the hint, so we'll go get detergent tomorrow, and the wash will still be there waiting for me when I get around to it. Yes, I do drive, but I haven't been driving unless I have to since I quit driving taxi in May.
So chin up Marianne. The heat wave will end, you will stop pooping white, your caffeine levels will return to normal, and you will lose the urge to strangle the people that refuse to understand how you are feeling and that you really are sick, in spite of not looking like you are.
Love and hugs, searching desperately for a breeze (only about 95 here)
Nancy in NB
ICQ #9683431