Well, after calling several other local high schools
and speaking with others...it has come to the
understanding that it is not just
"me"...unfortunately...the position was eliminated
across the board in all schools, as well as
teachers-aides. It was to compensate for an increase
given to the teachers salaries. They were striking a
while back (teachers refused to teach) and the union
came in to fight for them on pay raises. (Arizona has
lower pay rates for teachers than other states). So,
in order for the pay raise to be given within the
budget set by the govt. they had to compensate by
lay-offs. Mentally, this makes me feel better.
However, I'm still stuck with the same issues. I will
file un-employment tomorrow, get meds in advance to
last a few months to control my hernia, hope my bowels
never block till I have insurance, again...and not
give-up. Maybe the school will offer me another
position, so they don't have to pay me with
un-employment? I'm sorry I was so distraught this
weekend...I took it so personally feeling I was being
punished for medical issues outside of my control, now
at least I can face my family a little better. What
everyone thinks about me is their thing. My hubby
didn't handle my emotions very well this week...he
made a reference to a couple of times where I was
feeling well and went grocery shopping at a health
store...why couldn't I do all the shopping that day.
(Gees, I wonder why I was at a health store....shame
on me for buying supplements to help me with my
illness.) I got sick...that's why. I told him he's
the old adage..."if you look well, you must feel
well". So, know that I'm un-employed I feel ever
indebted to every one of his needs, even at the sake
of pushing mine aside. He's always had the attitude
if I don't work...I need to do "everything" for the
house. That's why I need to be working. It makes me
want to do nothing in the house so that way he can't
push me for more. I need that independence. Thank
you all for listening to my depressions and for
supporting me mentally. When no one else says "Don't
give up!"...I know I can come to this board and here
those words. It means alot...and helps me to deal
with the withdrawal cycle. Depression can become such
an addictive life-style if we succumb ourselves to it.
It is a battle for me everyday...even before
adhesions. You all are my counselors (ha ha). Thank
you again, all of you. Love, Marianne
Send instant messages & get email alerts with Yahoo! Messenger.