>----- Original Message -----
From: "KathFindlay" <klfindlay@adhesions.org.uk>
To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS"
<adhesions@mail.medispecialty.com>
Sent: Tuesday, August 21, 2001 6:02 PM
Subject: re To Sally
> Dear Sally,
> I read your letter to Diane, where you said that you are incredibly
> depressed right now. Also when you said about being strong enough to make
a
> successful business brought tears to my eyes. I truly hope that your
surgery
> was successful and you don't end up like me. I married my husband one week
> after my 18th birthday and spent 30 years building a home for my husband
and
> family, when they finally arrived (my medical history is on the quilt) and
> supported my husband in his career. He never wanted me to work although
it
> was ok for me to do various voluntary work over the years. I taught
summer
> school and ran craft classes for children on a Saturday morning. I also
> worked for the YWCA. I never had any money of my own and always longed for
> some independence.
>
> 12 years ago we bought a beautiful Victorian Mansion set in an acre of
> beautiful gardens. It was everything I had dreamed of with 10 bedrooms 3
> large reception rooms with bay windows, marble fire places and beautiful
> cornice work. It had a large kitchen with mahogany cupboards and dark
green
> tiles on the counters trimmed with wood. I remember the day we moved in
like
> it was yesterday, climbing the sweeping staircase looking up to the huge
> stain glass window on the upper landing.
>
> My husband worked in the oil industry and was away a lot on business, so I
> decided to turn the mansion into an exclusive Guest House. I refurbished
the
> house from top to bottom, having a different theme in every room all with
> period furnishings. The bridal room had a beautiful carved mahogany four
> poster with cream silk embroidered quilt and drapes that I had specially
> made in Hong Kong. Each room had an open fire set in a marble surround.
>
> I made all the soft furnishings for the Guesthouse myself, I filled every
> room with love and warmth, it was such a happy place, filled with people
> from all over the world who came back year after year saying how much they
> felt at home. We were always entertaining. I wanted to live there forever.
>
> I was so happy then. I had worked so hard to get to this position and I
was
> proud of what I had achieved. Nothing I had ever done in the past had
gained
> any recognition. We had the S.T.B Deluxe qualification the AA Premier
> Selection and the Certificate of Excellence.(The judges come in cognito
and
> stay over night)
>
> During this time I also went back to collage and gained a national award
for
> passing 9 modules, 26 exams in all. They ranged from financial record
> keeping, information technology, health & safety legislation,
> communications, marketing and a language They took 1/12 years to complete.
I
> chaired two hotel groups one for our area Hotels and for the whole of
> Scotland. I was travelling here there and everywhere going to conferences
> and holding seminars. I also went to the Gym twice a week and now it is
all
> gone.
>
> Nowadays, I don't want to get up in the morning what's the point. I have
> lost my home and business that I loved I am 80% disabled. My friends have
> all drifted away. My husband who had to give up his career to look after
me
> does everything in the house,the cooking, shopping, the cleaning in fact I
> am useless now. Sometimes I don't go out the house for weeks. He doesn't
say
> anything but I know he cant be bothered humping my wheelchair in and out
of
> the car. I don't know if I can carry on much longer like this, as long as
I
> sit on the couch the Fentanyl keeps the pain at bay but as soon as I move
or
> bend back comes the pain.
>
> When I read your letter this morning It hit me that this disorder has
taken
> away my life. I don't deserve this I am a good person. I have always done
> everything I can to help other people. Maybe I was bad in my last life. I
am
> scared that there is no way forward for me now.
>
> It's quite laughable that Drs think all of this is in our heads. They
really
> believe that or that we have IBS. When you think about it, it's partly
their
> fault, If they were more careful, or even warned us about adhesions we
would
> probably not have had so many surgeries and we might not be sitting here
> wondering if we would be better of dead than having to live like this.
>
> I truly believe that they think we are just little housewife's sitting at
> home craving some attention, they have no Idea the devastation they leave
> behind. Lost jobs, homes, finances, family, friends, dignity, our lives.
>
> Kath
>
> PS. I am sorry for the length of this letter, it took me all day to decide
> whether to post it or not. Sorry
>