Re: True cute Dr. stories

From: Millie (milliem@citlink.net)
Sun Sep 2 00:10:29 2001


Gloria, I laughed til I cried when I read these. They're too funny! Millie

>----- Original Message -----
From: "Gloria" <gpierson@nemontel.net> To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS" <adhesions@mail.medispecialty.com> Sent: Saturday, September 01, 2001 6:24 PM Subject: True cute Dr. stories

> A man came running into the ER and yelled, "My wife is
> going to have her baby in the cab!"
>
> I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the
> lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear.
> Suddenly, I noticed that there were several cabs and I
> was in the wrong one.
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------
> At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope
> -------------------------------------------------------------
> on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's
> anterior chest wall.
>
> "Big breaths," I instructed.
>
> "Yes, they used to be," the patient said wistfully.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------
> One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told
> ---------------------------------------------------------------
> a wife that her husband had died of a massive
> myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes
> later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family
> that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------
> During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with
> ------------------------------------------------------------------
> his cardiologist, he informed his doctor that he was
> having trouble with one of his medications.
> "Which one?", asked the doctor.
> "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one
> every six hours and
> now
> I'm running out of places to put it!"
> The doctor had him quickly undress and discovered what
> he hoped he wouldn't see; the man had over fifty
> patches on his body.
>
> Now the instructions include removal of the old patch
> before applying a new one. (And you always wondered
> why instructions always seemed to state the obvious!)
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
> While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
> asked, "How long have you been bedridden?"
> After a look of complete confusion she answered, "Why,
> not for about twenty years, when my husband was
> alive."
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> A lady walked into a pharmacy and spoke to the
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> pharmacist. She asked, "Do you have Viagra?"
> "Yes," he answered.
> She asked, "Does it work?"
> "Yes," he answered.
> "Can you get it over the counter?" she asked.
> "I can if I take two," he answered.
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> And finally:
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> A 92-year-old man went to the doctor to get a
> physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the man
> walking down the street with a gorgeous young
> woman on his arm.
> Several weeks later, when the old man had an
> appointment with the doctor again, the doc said,
> "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
> The man replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc, 'Get
> a hot mama and be cheerful.'"
> The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a
> heart murmur. Be careful."
>


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