If it is possible....I think it is time for you to have a visit with your Dad......you sound as though you are under immense pressure at the moment, and I think you need to visit with him. I know your hubby thinks it would be distressing....but you are aready distressed!
I have been in a similar situation with my grandparents from time to time......by visiting them, it allowed me to say good bye (when it was obvious that they were hanging on for us, the family).
Colette, you need to see for yourself what condition your father is in, and if possible go over his wishes if he is having a lucid moment. You will continue to agonise over your decision, if you don't make this trip.
If there are other reasons for you not to be able to make the journey in person, write a long letter to him, say everything that you want & need to say. Send it to the hospital, then call them and ask that a nurse or a volunteer read your letter to him. That way you can feel at peace, and know that you have done your best by him.
Distance from loved ones can be very difficult to bare, I know that when my father was undergoing surgery that only gave him a 5% chance of surviving, I endured a 17 hour car trip to see him before surgery. He survived, and he now lives just a few blocks away from me.
We all experience the frustration of distance......we have all expressed the wish to be closer to offer more than written support to each other here on the board. My love, best wishes & prayers are with you Colette. I hope that you find peace and feel that you have done your best by your dad soon.
Love & hugs,
Jo
-- Positive AffirmationSay this with your hands above your head (victory style) and repeat three times: I'm Alive I'm Alert I'm a LOT of fun!!
That should get you smiling!