I felt mad and sad and depressed and liked I'd failed. But now that's all passed, Oh, well, not really, its all still there, but I'm dealing with it better. Anyway, it's not your fault and there's nothing you can do except try to do Zen or some sort of mind/body loving that lets you accept anything. or else it just gets worse. Stress and anger really make it hurt. Sorry to lecture, you don't deserve that. Maybe you will get better. It's still awfully early. And the operation itself causes pain.
We're here for you to tell us all, You can yell and vent and curse (well, I don't think you can do that, but you can be creative and leave out one or two letters). We care and we also know what you're going through. Life is tough. But so are you. Love, hugs, Kisses and prayers, Sally