Re: The Difference between Addiction & Tolerance

From: J&L VERMEY (J.VERMEY@xtra.co.nz)
Wed Nov 28 16:23:06 2001


Dear Helen Dynda

I was very pleased to read the information you provided on the subject of addiction verses tolerance.

My parents have all BUT accused me of being a "druggy" because I am taking methadone (which I am slowly coming off from) and now Sevredol (Morphine Sulphate) upon the suggestions of my GP.

They're off the opinion that I am weak, and that I should just pull myself together, that hardly anyone in our family has ever been sick.

They refuse to believe that I have a bowel disease, let alone adhesions. They say that it is my own fault that I became sick, that I haven't been eating a suitable diet, etc, etc.

I am so sick of their attitude, therefore I forwarded the information you provided, to my parents, in the hope of reaching some kind of understanding. Although I fear that I will never get it.

I think they are disappointed in me because I am not 'PERFECT', like their other two daughters. I feel like they are ashamed of me, as they have never even told their closest friends about my health problems, nor do they ever want me to discuss my health with anyone.

My mother is always criticising me, because I wear 'sloppy clothing' (her opinion) - she often gives me clothes - which I hate - for they are tight and uncomfortable, and when she sees that I do not wear them, she tells me off no end. I've tried to tell her that I am 31 years old, that I am married and that I'm quite capable of choosing my own clothing - and that because I suffer from chronic pain day in day out that I prefer to wear comfortable, loose fitting clothes.

I feel so much hurt and disappointment in my parents, why can't they just support me? Why can't they accept that I need to eat a low fibre / low residue diet? Why do they keep disagreeing with the advice my doctors give me? When we are invited for dinner my mother never provides food suitable for me to eat.

Sometimes I think that I'd be better off if I had nothing more to do with my parents, but on the other hand, I don't want to divorce them from my life, as that has happened to my father and his family, his brothers haven't spoken to him for over 26 years - all because of a stupid misunderstanding, and one of his brothers has not spoken to my grandparents for those same amount of years - now my grandparents are dying (they are in their late 80's) and no one knows where that brother lives, so they haven't even been able to inform him of that fact!

Hurt and disappointed,

Lin (from NZ)


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