Good morning! It's another wet, grey and muggy day here in NZ. (Do you guys know the meaning of 'muggy' - I'm not sure if it is a proper word, or if it is NZ slang! In case you don't understand what it means - it means the humidity in the air is very high, and you can feel the heat on your body, and it's very hot and sticky!)
I just jumped under the shower - so now I feel much more human! John's just left for work - I always go and open the gate for him before he goes (it is a 50 meter walk down to the gate), then I walk back to the house - after which John kisses me goodbye (more than once usually - LOL), starts the car - at which time I start to walk down the driveway again - and our dog (that wonderful black Lab / Rotweiler cross of ours) goes totally nuts! He very much enjoys racing his Dad's car (from inside our property - not on the road) along the fence - it's a good 100 meter run for him - while John is driving down the road. (Usually my dog, Jaap, wins!!!) Then I close the gate (we have a sign on the gate saying "Please don't let our dog out - and keep the gate shut", but John has been joking he should put a sign on the gate saying "My dog can make it to the gate in 4 seconds, can you?" Then I stroll casually back to the house, do a few chores, I pace my self, I do a job for around ten minutes, then I go do something out - back in the days when I used to be well I could do everything in one go - but if I so much as attempt to do that these days I end up paying with it - usually with more pain then I know how to handle.
I must say to you all that because of all your help and support I am growing stronger emotionally every day, I've never had an ounce of fighting spirit - I was one of those people who just accepted that nothing more could be done for me, that there was no cure - and I basically thought "well, if that's how it's to be I might as well give up". If ever one person had a great defeatist attitude it was me! Well NO MORE! I'm not going to accept everything my doctors say at face value - nor am I going to allow doctors to say things to me that I know are not true. I am going to work on my self-confidence - which was shattered and I am going to learn how to be assertive and to stand up for myself! I WILL FIGHT! I WANT TO LIVE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE!
All my love,
Lin