Dear Lillian, Something you said really struck home - I will not let this disease take over my life. I am strong enough or weak enough or whatever to keep living. Even though I am in pain, I will not just shrivel up and die nor will I want to die. So much of my time, too much, has been given to thinking of not being here. And I know that a positive attitude works wonders. It also helps to have good pain meds and a supportive husband. My doctor finally gave in and is prescribing me adequate meds and my husband has been really supportive for a long while now. Makes all the difference in the world. You can't love yourself if someone is always yelling at you. Love, Sally from Mendocino (evidently there's another Sally now, at least in Australia)