Dear Mary Lou,
The first thing I want to do is welcome you to the board and the next thing I want to say is it isn't your entire fault! (Doctors don’t tell us about the possibility of adhesions before surgery, many doctors don’t believe they cause pain). Please don't beat yourself up over it. I spoke last year to a wonderful specialist at The Royal Hospital for Women in Sydney Australia last year and something he said to me has stayed with me - he said that it is too late to look back using our "retro scopes" and say why did I do that? - it will make you crazy! The best thing to do now is to simply accept your pain. Actually simply isn't the right word to use either because it is never easy to accept such an intrusion into our lives, we fight it, we ignore it and we try to wish and pray it away. It all fails though doesn't it, so the most important thing to do is to learn to accept your pain and find ways to live with it.
There is an adhesions Quilt on the board and it is really important for you to record your story there it will help you to understand and start to "let go" of the guilt you feel because you chose elective cosmetic surgery. The truth is Mary Lou, most of us carry the same guilt, we "chose" to allow a surgeon to perform a hysterectomy, we "chose" to have repeated surgeries to try and find relief from pain.
One of the most important things I have learned since I have been visiting this site in the last 12 months is that once we accept our decisions, and our pain, once we stop going over it again and again in our own minds, we begin the healing process and we begin the journey so necessary to find ways to help us live with pain, how to keep it under control and not let it control us.
Don't look for a "miraculous cure", because it doesn't exist...... look at ways to divert your attention away from the pain. Many of us write here each day, it has become a part of our coping strategies, listening to music, walking by the river or beach or through a beautiful park. Enjoy the flowers, really look at them, the petals, the colour, the stem....... experiment with breathing exercises, I use one that is breath in through the nose to a slow count to ten, hold for a count of 5 or 10 (whichever is more comfortable for you) then breath out through the mouth for a slow count to ten use alternating heat and cold, a wheat pack warmed in the microwave, or a heating pad, or a ice pack wrapped in a towel. Read a good book, one that grabs your attention and compels you to keep reading...... listen to soft and gentle music, talk to a friend or keep a journal. I love Oprah's idea of a gratitude journal, and I have used that theme and also extended it to a different level with my children. We each have a journal and we write to each other in them, express our feelings offer praise and encouragement and it is a great way to stay in touch when pain seems to consume your every waking moment, it is our loved ones that suffer more than we can really know. We become so self absorbed in our pain that we sometimes loose sight of the fact that they are hurting too.
Mary Lou I would love to invite you to visit my site at www.bombobeach.com so that you can read my story and that of Karla Nygren with whom I am writing a book about our lives as adhesions sufferers. Visit my favourite beach and listen to the waves......
Come back often Mary Lou, we offer friendship, support, understanding and love to all at www.adhesions.org & at Bombo…….
Love & gentle hugs