Do you have any group you can go to for support, - church, pain support groups, that kind of thing. And it's none of my business, but your 'boyfriend" sounds like a load around your neck dragging you down instead of helping you.. I'm not supposed to get involved really in your personal life (my own rule - which I'm always breaking) but are you better off with him or without him? Relationships can make your pain worse, as you know, because of the stress.
I know you need real help not just words. Please try to find a counselor or someone close by to be with you and hug you and tell you you deserve the best. Church groups can be very supportive. Child care that is designed to help the whole family is available in some university towns. I don't know. I just wish you the best. Love, Sally