LADIES!!!!!!

From: maria (marialeighgrover@hotmail.com)
Wed Feb 13 08:22:10 2002


Hello Ladies- I have been following this board for the past several months, and have never felt the urge to contribute until now. I have responded individually to certain people that have posted, but not directly to this site. I just want to introduce my self and also make a few comments. My name is Maria, and I too am an adhesions sufferer. Over the past couple of days I have seen somethings posted on this board that is rather childish. First of all, Im not here to defend anyone or theyre actions or statements, but I have chatted several times with Caroline. I have noticed, and if you would like I can point out specific instances, but I choose not to. All of the messages I have read from everyone, keep in mind Im not singling anyone out here, are complaints about physical pain. I know that physical pain is very debilitating, as I have dealt with all of the same issues as everyone else. Lets take a moment and look at emotional pain. From what I have read, The majority of you all have children, grandchildre, ect. Well, If you would have taken the time to get to know Caroline, she is a 30 year old woman that will never be able to experience the joys (and sorrows) of parenthood. This woman was diagnosed with a deadly form of Ovarian Cancer, Stage 3c. If any of you know anything about Ovarian Cancer, tthe 5 year survival rate is less than 30 percent. Caroline was trying to get pregnant, when this was diagnosed. Of course she is going to choose what ever option will gaurantee the best rate of survival, as I cant imagine what the emotional toll of a cancer diagnosis would be, and not any one of you can either, no matter how many surgeries you ahve had, is nothing, Im sure is like being told that you have a death sentence. Okay, are you with me? Well Consider that you go through with aggressive surgery, Hysterectomy ect.. only to be told 2 weeks later that you NEVER had cancer to start with? Now she is left to recover from the initial shock of having cancer, from not being able to have kids, or a family and the fact that the whole procedure was in vain. You ladies need to get out of your self pity, and realize that there is so much more devastation in emotional pain than there ever will be in physical pain. Caroline has told me that she would rather live with horrible physical pain WITHOUT any pain meication, as to be left without ever being a mother. Rather than continue to dog someone who is obviously hurting tremendously, with all of your cries for attention, and justification, why dont you address the real matter at hand? You all say that you build these websites to help others, I have seen NO help from any of you, well maybe 1 or 2 (I mean you Kel) only condemnation. So if you really want to help someone else, why not offer emotional support to someone rather than all of this "medical expertise"? None of us are perfect, and we need to consider the source before getting so emotional about someones cry for help. One other thing that I feel I must comment on is all of this "prayer" floating around.. I see prayers for this one and prayers for that one, well I havent seen any one of you offer any prayers for Caroline, the one who needs it most right now. I hope you ladies dont read too much into what I have said here, PLEASE take me at my word and nothing more. I think we all need to grow up a little and put someone else before our selves, maybe we would all feel a little better. Maria

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