And to answer your question about what I was taking before oxycontin, I was on pain patches (still am) and roxicodone which makes me very sleepy and doesn't cut through the pain. I also spent a great deal of time thinking of ways to do myself in. It's true, I'm not going to hide it. Obviously, I've got a strong will to live and my husband laughs at me whenever I mention something like that cause I'm such a bad back seat driver he can't imagine any one suicidal who would care so much about how he drvies. And he's right, I want to live. I just don't want to be in agony 24 hours a day seven days a week.
I've managed to function because I own an Inn and have help plus a husband whom I'm always complaining about but who looks like a Greek God and actually gives me a lot of support. He just has a big mouth.
I don't know what to tell you, but I do know that your choices are not either " it comes out or I live on pain meds the rest of my life". It's not that simple at all.
Please, please, please do your research by going to the site and reading. And I'm not afraid of becoming a drug addict. When my pain is gone, I'll gradually go off the meds, believe me, my husband and mother will be right here making sure I do. But I also want to. They don't make you high. They make you nauseous and make you feel weird, but not as bad as agony. The media has done oxycontin a terrible wrong, or rather it has done we who suffer a wrong. We don't smash up the pill to get high, Heaven forbid, I'd be scared to death to, after all those times I prayed to God to die, I'm scared now he might finally listen and I really want to live. So hang in there.Love, Sally