Clare is right -- we gotta find you a publisher!
At Wed, 22 May 2002, Chrissy492@aol.com wrote:
>
>Hi to all my wonderful sweet friends,
>Ever wake up and have one of those days? Like those dropsy days I was
>telling you about in a former post? You get up in the morning having to pee
>so bad and you drop your pillow on the floor only to trip over it when you
>finally get those legs off the bed. You try and walk to the bathroom and if
>you have a household like mine; 3 cats and one dog and a 6'4" husband - the
>trip to the bathroom can be a dangerous one. As I walk down the hallway on
>my way to the bathroom my kidneys are telling me to hurry, hurry up before I
>let loose - your cats and the dog decide to say good morning happily all over
>your legs with each movement of each leg. So as you are walking down the
>hall, very carefully trying not to step on your loving animals as they say
>good morning to you and your kidneys are yelling at you, you miss seeing that
>cat/dog squeaky toy you just stepped on that's wet all over from animal slim
>and your foot along with your leg go into this position you never thought you
>could do. You know, one of those yoga positions with your leg over your
>shoulder and your husband eyeballing you as if he thinks he's in for a
>treat.............well, as I slipped onto the floor into my yoga position
>with my husbands eyeballs widening - all my animals were very excited that
>Mommy was getting on the floor to give good morning hellos - my kidneys just
>about had it - crawling to the toilet pleading with my kidneys to hold on for
>one more second - I pull up the toilet seat cover, prepare yourself kidneys,
>it's your turn. I sit down clumsily sideways and the toilet seat flies off!
>Here I am again into another yoga position with the toilet seat on the floor
>and my long hair stuck between the toilet seat and the top of the toilet. Do
>you have a visual yet? The dog starts drinking the toilet water only to
>slurp some water onto the cats - the cats, ALL 3 of them, with their
>wonderful fear of water, jump a mile high as if they had springs on their
>legs, and of course one had to land on my head and with his back claws left a
>wonderful scratch down my back. owey......At this point I just didn't care
>anymore and sat on the toilet without the seat just so my kidneys would stop
>feeling as if they were going to explode. Boy that was a cold back end start
>of a day.
>I went to get my mail today. As I walk down my long dirt driveway I notice
>the city workers were out there continuing their work on our road. With one
>hand holding my yummy coffee, the other hand was free to wave hello to the
>workers. I'm at the end of my driveway and all of a sudden I'm about 3 feet
>into the ground. Have you ever fallen and feel as if it was in slow motion?
>This was the very slowest motion ever! With coffee all over my face and
>shirt I was wondering, how in the hell, what in the hell - then the words
>came out of my mouth......ummmmm HELLLLP!!! The nice gentlemen came running
>over to help me. As I look up I see all these arms reaching out for mine. I
>reach up for their hands and as I get pulled up, part of my pants fell
>down....how embarrassing. At least I had underwear on this morning. tee hee
>Not that I don't wear underwear, I do, I have names of the days on each and
>every one of them so I know what day it is...tee hee As I pull up my clothes
>that have fallen 1/2 way off of me, I thank the guys who saved me and asked
>what the heck happened. At the end of my driveway they were replacing the
>drainage pipe and I didn't see the loose, very loose dirt. They hadn't
>packed it down yet. Lucky klutzy Chrissie. As my Mom, God rest her soul,
>used to say to me....I found you under a rock in a test tube with the writing
>on the rock "klutz" and felt bad for you so I took you home to make you my
>own. I'm sorry this email was long, I just needed to vent about my day.
>Love and hugs to all,
>~Chrissie xo's PS hey, at least I didn't put tanning lotion on and strip my
>face like I did last year.......tee hee Wishing all my sweet honey bunnies a
>pain free wonderful day with a huge smile ")
-- cathy :-)