I was doing so well there for a few weeks. Had come way down on my meds
as I really don't have a doc till I see a new one on Nov 4th.
I have not had to wear a diaper and actually vaccumed and went to
laundomat.
Out of the clear blue I was visiting a friend with a guest I had from
out of town and I collapsed in the driveway. The worst pain I had
encountered yet. Did not black out. My seven yr old daughter was
witness to this.
They begged me to go to hospital but I could not go thru another er
trip.
Found that to be an exercise in futility.
I had them call my mother who does not really support me in my illness
but she's packing optifast and they ask her to come right away. She has
fybromyalgia. I took the optifast and was up in a few minutes.
My daughter is such a good girl but she internalizes alot. I ask her
how she feels about so many things but she gives the standard "fine"
answer.
I have had her in counseling for about 6 mos now. She has other issues,
mainly thet she has never lived with her father. They were allowed to
see each other through court ordered visitation center. He was
suspected of being drunk during some visits but last Christmas he was
totally $%*#faced and had to be taken away by the police. It was done
as discretly as possible but for a 7 yr old she's no fool.
She knows to watch out for mommy's tum. She will always get me a drink
and sometimes make us scrambled eggs for dinner. She will make my bed
as her way of cherring me up. I tell her I am going to be better soon.
I can't tell her when though.
Her teacher called yesterday to my horror. She said don't be alarmed,
my daughter is a fab student (2nd grade). Always brings home 100's. we
read alot and can't wait for the next Harry potter book. we work on her
homework together everynight. I try to keep things as normal as
possible. I thought I did an excellent job of sucking it up in front of
her.
The teacher was wondering how soon we were going to Germany. My
daughter has been talking to her classmates about this imminant trip.
I have been discussing and raising funds to get there. Darn she has big
ears (lesson learned).
I tried to explain the situation to the teacher. She seems like a great
lady.
I did not attend the open house to meet her.
Well next the school psychologist called and asked if she could help. I
said yes, anything to help her understand her mom's not gonna die or
anything.
Oh God, why can't you spare my baby from this mennace. She is going to
contact her other counselor and work with her to help.
My family has chosen to not accept my adhesion story. Where did I ever
get a crazy notion like that. I show them my last operative report that
said I have extensive abdominal adhesions. They prefer to think this
doc is making this up for some error she made during surgery. Maybe
there is a needle or sponge left in there. They tell me I am not a
doctor and am a fool to self diagnose my condition. Of course they, not
being doctors themselves insist I have explortory surgery to find the
true cause of my "troubles". I have had 5 different surgical opinions
and none of them will touch me(thank god) No way to exploritory
surgery.Next time I am opened up it will be to have adhesions lysed,
bowel resected and endo excised. They could really help us alot.Just a
simple visit.
My brothers could give her the man exposure she needs. They could help
by taking me to the darn grocery store but...They all live but 5 minutes
away.
They all love my daughter but am convinced I am a loon and suddenly gone
lazy.
Oh god, my poor baby.
What do you tell your young children????