My heart goes out to you, i know so well what it is not be believed, and also what it is to be a single mother with young daughter. I will not tell u my whole story, i could tell it to you and the other people here at the message board, but to others and many doctors it is just unbelievable....maybe more unbelievable that these things can still happen in this century. Just in summary: i had major adhesions after c-section, before i had had severe endometriosis and went through IVF treatments to get pregnant of my precious daughter. But after birth of my daughter, i got pain that got worse and worse, but not believed by doctors, family or friends...At ER they sent me home with some kind of aspirine.. I could show u the most imaginative doctors reports for explaining my pain; in brief i was told i had a severe post partus depression (or post-natal depression). I've had to fight against everyone, because i couldn't give up since i finally had my child, my so sweet daughter, how could i leave her and have other ones told that i got crazy after her birth or that i was cowered and left her.....but pain was terrible, and at a point i really tought if it comes so far i will demand in a final letter for an autopsy....but i wanted so much to live and do so much with my adorable baby, i finally found a hospital where i could go to together with my child, to get help Finally after 8 months and after first writing a letter to a professor-doctor, i was admitted in hospital and after week and laparascopy i was told.......you must have been in terrible pain.....yes, because all my internal organs had adhesed and also part of my intenstins had not been put back in right place at time of c-section (but not in report ofcourse). I thought i was finally going to be that happy newly mother i had longed for so long, but no way, i was given a strong pain medication, a morphine derivative type called here Valtran, and i stood pain whole day till evening, than i took this medication, to have pain relief and also something that made me sleep....i had another major surgery 6 months later, went to terrible pain again, and after six weeks without any pain med, i finally took this strong medication again, coz i was not even able to sit for a quarter of an hour; anyway i didn't know what i had precisely, and at that time i sure didn't know that i should have had intensive physical therapy to strengthen my body and muscles and bones and everything, becoz only months after that surgery i went back to work, and then when finally pain of belly got better i started to develop severe problems in back and later in neck, till after a year i had to stop working entirely..... Yet, colleagues, family or friends didn't believe still was possible i had this pain, but only we here can understand that u learn to smile and enjoy moments even when in pain, i think we keep on smiling till our already extended pain barriers are crossed and then we fall apart and cry......and even then if at that time a doctor saw me he/she would have said: yes, typical example of depression...... I had however the luck to have had surgery by a surgeon knowing well about adhesions, i had no good general practitioner however, she made me feel so terrible, the way she looked at me, the total lack of any respect......i know what it does....Heidi. Today, after almost 5 years i have a good general practitioner who know about adhesions and the other health problems i developed as a result of it, and also the help of physical therapy, that is essential to me. I hope maybe i can help u telling about the things that help me and still today, because now general health problems...and have good days, but also days that pain everywhere, and know what it is not to have anyone to really care about u and above all having the responsibility for such a young child that needs to be brought up without being confronted all the pain with a mother in pain....and also some basic things like being able to put my daughter in bad without having to tell her she has to dry herself coz i have to lay flat on my back...I know Heidi, u want the best for your daughter and you will fight until u fall through ur knees. But it hasn't have to come that far... First u need to have a very good anti-depressive, the type that will help u to better stand the pain, really to less feel it, and give you some energy boost; i can tell because i stopped two times taking this and it was terrible, the name of the anti-depressive i have is called: Efexor-Exel (again, this is the name here in Europe, Belgium): specification: venlafaxinum.hydrochlorid.84.85 mg q.s. ad 75 mg venlafaxinum pro gelula una Then the advice that Judy gave to you is really very valuable, and very true, i would add to this, put it, in writing, try to summarize what u went trough as u did here at the message board. This was wat helped me getting believed and have first surgery.....and some time ago, when i had to go on control to pain clinic i also put it in writing first evening before, coz sometimes i'm too tired to talk or even to explain anything, and certainly the stress u're under before a doctor and soo important to get believed, just go in and give the letter, and say that u're too tired to explain it all, and therefore u put it in writing...I was scared of the reaction, but it was very well received in my case....if he/she want be willing to read it, just step out the door, you'll know u're not with the good doctor and not waisting any of ur valuable energy... Then about the pain medication, i only take this one paid med, becoz it's effective and not damaging my stomach, i take only little but several times a day, i want to bring it back to only once, in the evening....I'm also concerned that i would become addicted,but it seems not as in this medicine there is something working against possible addiction; anyway i'm not taking more, and i also stopped for a week or so, but i have no choice at moment, since i want to be able to take further care of my daughter.....As u have been through rehab, i think u better know ur limits, and maybe at this moment u will need some strong pain medication again to avoid u go through major depression, but again, a doctor needs to subscribe u a very good anti-depressive like explained above... Also i'm separated from my husband since one year and half now, also he got agressive and don't underestimate what these problems do to ur pain, this stress gets pain worse... Further also it's very important to eat as healthy as possible, and ask for help if u have relatives who can help u with this or other help at household or whatever, but really eating enough and healthy, a lot of fruit and vegetables and so (i could give more info-coz just started new treatment in this matter), maybe good food supplements (again i can advice u here) really help to stand pain better and making u stronger in ur way to find proper treatment And finally the physical therapy, which is a very special one, and needs to be build up from laying down level, i want to tell more about this also want to share this with other intrested people, coz it did wonders for me, especially also for my adhesions....
I will stop here Heidi, but maybe also this u can certainly choose the files u want to bring with u, when i saw a report telling that the pain after my C-section must have been explained by the bad relationship with my gynaecologist, i cannot explain what i went through, holding a 3 months old baby in my arms, and nowhere to turn....show the real medical examination files, but nothing that can in advance makes a judgment about u before a new doctor.....
I wish u a lot of courage Heidi, and just know, as when i discovered this incredible website 2.5 years after my child was born: U ARE NOT ALONE.......
>----- Original Message -----
From: "Heidi Jo" <hjjones@swbell.net>
To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS"
<adhesions@mail.medispecialty.com>
Sent: Saturday, April 05, 2003 10:33 PM
Subject: Need major advice.....in pain.
> Not sure if this posted before.....
>
> Wow. You all have me in tears. First I would like to thank everyone
> who responded to me. Thank you so much. I never thought I would get a
> response like that. Okay. Here is what's going on. Friday, dispite
> all my pain, I went to my neuro dr. and asked for my medical
> records...who knows if they gave me everything, I doubt it, but I got
> most of it I think. Then I picked up my knee MRI from the diag office.
> Went to my attorneys office and picked up the police report that shows
> the accident I was in. It also has the old doctor I went to report in
> it and shows that I was taking Talacen narc. from two doctors. The car
> accident doctor has notes stating she discontinued the medication. What
> happened there was I was seeing a really shaddy physo dr for the death
> of my father. He was giving me Xanax, Paxil, Clonazpam, and Talacan.
> When I would go to his office he would ask me if I needed more meds and
> I would say yes and I would get refills. Then we would talk about his
> problems, his divorce, his adopted son, etc. He also wanted me to be
> his secretary. I figured if I said no then he wouldn't give me the meds
> anymore. He had me ADDICTED. Anyway, I went to see him for an
> appointment in Jan 02 and he had packed up his office and left town.
> Changed his number. Haven't heard from the SOB since. So there I was,
> in pain, confusion and no medication any longer. I checked myself into
> rehab and tried to get off of the meds. Got off of everything
> successfully except the Talacen narc. Or Talwin to other people. Went
> through serious withdrawl. Marriage problems occured then. My husband
> is also abusive. I know, way too much to believe but I swear this is
> all true. Why would I sit here in pain to make it all up? My husband
> kicked me and my daughter out of the house. He couldn't deal with my
> problems any longer. I stopped my therapy for the accident....big
> mistake....but had no way to get there. I was ashamed. I felt like a
> drug addict and my husband kicked me out of the house. My daughter and
> I stayed at a friends house for a roof over our heads. I had to change
> her school. I would go to several doctors for medication for my pain.
> They understood I was in serious pain but I just don't understand why
> giving me 30 vicodin would magically make the pain go away forever??? On
> Dec 28, 02 I was assaulted by my husband for THE LAST TIME. He was
> arrested and now the DA's office has charges on him. I went to the ER.
> They of course gave me more vicodin for the pain. Went to family
> doctor. She took xrays of my injuries. They found that I had an old
> fracture to my left clavical...car accident maybe? I really don't care
> where these injuries are from now...just get me out of the pain! She
> gave me Vicodin. My endo flared up and now I need surgery. Having
> surgery 4/10/03. I'm assuming more Vicodin? Ccan you tell I am so
> flippin tired of this??? I don't want to take Vicodin and rely of it.
> However, I don't want to be in pain. Why should I have to live in pain?
> My father is proof that some people can't handle it. I would NEVER do
> that to myself. To my children. But how do I live this kind of life?
> How do I get a doctor to believe that I am not out looking for more
> medication....I am out looking for a way to life a pain free life....are
> pretty damn close to one. I know some of you will read this and
> probably not get through the entire letter because it does sound too
> hard to believe. That is okay because not everyone can understand this.
> But I know that there is someone out there who can help me. Please come
> and find me....I am looking so hard for you!
> I go to this new pain doctor on Monday afternoon. I need to first find
> child care for my daughter because I do not want ANY distractions. I
> have all my medical files from my Family Prac doc and my neurologist and
> my MRI and my xrays. Can I pick and choose what files to keep in
> there?? Because that pain doc that I was seeing that said if I didn't
> have a bone sticking out of my neck has notes in there that say I
> shouldn't be on any narc for pain. Oh, I also had a ortho doc tell me
> that since my collar bone hurts, just slip that seatbelt under your
> arm....you'll be okay. GIVE ME A FLIPPIN BREAK! Was I on candid camera
> or something crazy like that???
>
> I just don't want to go in to this new pain doc and have him pick up a
> vibe from me like I am desperate....but "hello" I sort of am! I am
> desperate for someone to help me...someone to believe me.
>
> To answer some of your questions. Yes I am on Zoloft 100mg at
> bedtime...does it help? No, I don't think so but getting off of it is
> HORRIFYING. I also take 5mg of Sonota...does it help? Yes, but I wake
> up every morning at 4am when it wears off and I can't get back to sleep.
> I also take Vicodin for the pain, however, that should stop any day now
> until I cut off my arm or fall down a cliff.
>
> I need to see someone for depression. I need to see ONE doctor for the
> pain meds. I am willing to travel across the world to get this help.
> Pay any amount of money too. I just want my life back...is that so much
> to ask for?
>
> Better go now.
>
> Thank you all so much.
>
> --
> Heidi Jo
>
> --
> Heidi
>