I am female, had a wonderful, active life, open to travel, gave Lectures to hundreds at a time. then , after a series of things beyound MY control, (surguries, adhesions, Fibromyalgia, and then topping the lisy, PANIC Attacks....you get the picture, I certainly feel your anguish.
I DO NOT take pills, but at times I could "lose" myself into the world of never land!..... only I have pets and people that count on me, so I take NO drugs, only a pain pills maybe once a month for killer Migraines.
I am hoping someone here will answer with answers, I have none, I only trudge along the best I can, and like you, I look back, even 5 yrs ago, I was a different person, and I don;t LIKE the me I am now.
I believe we all have the power to change things, but it is hard to be committed to change when every movement brings about pain, or headaches. (Yes, I was in a wreck too). all I can offer is a shoulder, and a hug.
Blessings, Sue R from Ohio
>----- Original Message -----
From: "Angel" <post_quondam@hotmail.com>
To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS"
<adhesions@mail.medispecialty.com>
Sent: Saturday, April 26, 2003 3:10 PM
Subject: CFS, Fibromyalgia, .....Hypothyroidism T3/T4 ??
> To whom it may concern, my name is Angel [Male - 06/26/63].
>
> Yes, I know this is very long but please read on. THANX!!!
> I have a Hiatle Hernia with G.E.Reflux, am ADD, had my tonsils and
> adnoids removed [because I couldn't and still can't seem to breathe
> through my nose], since I was 2 Yrs. old [I swallowed a whole peanut -
> it was stuck in my lung] result - Pneumonia and Bronchitis - when
> younger I almost died many times - I'm still prone to these ailments on
> a yearly basis, I've had my appendix removed, and I've had multiple
> stitiches ...other than those things... I've never been diagnosed with
> any particular dysfunction and or disease. However, I feel that
> [mainly] for the last 16 years my body has been falling apart.
>
> ~Whew, got that out of the way~ The basic part of my problems started
> when I was young, I can't remember exactly when ...maybe 12 or 13 Yrs.
> old, but I remember when it got worse.
>
> January 1992, I awoke in the middle of the night gasping for air. I
> ended up in the ER. This happened to me for what seems like months. Was
> it sleep apnea? An ENT said no way!!! Was it my Hernia and reflux? Hmmm!
> At one point I wore a heart monitor with alarm - for a month, I set that
> off almost every night because my heart would be pounding - as I awoke
> from a lack of oxygen. The doctor's said ...that it was okay [because]
> it was within a normal range for someone in my shape and condition. They
> went on to assume ...I was stressed and depressed! I told them this
> couldn't be, as it was happening only while I was sleeping. I then told
> them my problems up to that point [major symptoms to follow].
>
> *My Uncle and Mother have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, they
> [uncle/mom] continually tell me I too have it. Doctor's seems
> reluctant!!!
>
> Anyway, I have pursued many avenues to lessen my discomforts; this has
> come at a great price. My self-esteem has gone down and I feel as
> though I've been a guinea pig both physically and physiologically.
> Doctor's have given me most of the anti-depressant drugs available and I
> ~personally~ have pursued therapy, even went as far as to try an commit
> myself, as I had pains and much more that multiple Doctor's said
> couldn't be real!!! The results? I take their meds and then get doped up
> usually ending up in the ER. It seems as though I have a low tolerance
> for most med's. Or is that physiological as well? ~Yes, I do have a
> slight attitude!!!~ Depression seems to be my end result. Imagine
> that!! How much can someone take being told that it's "ALL IN THEIR
> MIND!" I could only take the doctor's pill pushing for 3 - 4 years. I
> have been "grinning and bearing it" on my own for what seems to be a 100
> years now, trying Vitamins, and Alternative Med's [herbs, acupuncture,
> etc], 85% of the time I do very well.
>
> So what are my systems? I ache [everywhere] almost all the time -
> degrees of pain are variable as well as where the pain is located. I
> have migraines that stop me dead in my tracks, lower back pain
> accompanied usually with hip, knee, and foot problems, heart
> palputations, breathing difficlties - sudden and usually out of nowhere,
> canker sores from hell, ringing in my ears, body parts [mainly while
> resting] get numb and tingly, my endurance in most cases is nil - there
> are times I surprise myself ...but if I do exert myself, within usually
> a hour, the payoff is a migraine, neck and or lower body breakdown,
> especially the next day, I'm always tired when I have to be awake and
> awake when I should be tired ...blah blah!!! ...I think you get the
> point.
>
> Here's the weird part: I use to be a very athletic guy, ...Cross
> Country, Track, Swim, Basketball, Cycling, etc... I used to run a
> minimum of 2,000 miles a year for 6 years straight, not to mention my
> other sport activities - the running has stopped but the other
> activities are going as long as I can maintain (Last 14 years? - 95%
> Alcohol free).
>
> Another important part of my problems: In the latter time frame I
> crashed my vehicle [Jan. 1993] ...surprisingly I didn't even get a
> scratch. I flipped 14 times according to eyewitnesses. I didn't even
> get a ticket!!! I to this day don't know what happened but the police
> blamed it on obscure occurrences - a very strong wind gust was
> mentioned. Anyway, I mention this crash because this is where my
> problems took yet another turn. Among all the other problems I had been
> dealing with, now I acquired a new bizarre feature. I thought at first
> I was claustrophobic but this new problem is very selective. Put me
> in/on a plane, bus, a place where no "easy access out" is available, any
> situation ...and then tell me or at best make me feel as though I can't
> leave ...whoa, I want out!!! I've embarrassed myself many times. I have
> been trying to attack these situations straight on, especially when
> challenged by my girlfriend. 90% of the time I manage, 10% I'm gone,
> avoid it, or stay as long as I can stand it.
>
> Summary:
>
> I've done well these last 10+ years, but it appears when I think of who
> I was and who I now am ...I've been slowly giving into the pain and fear
> things. So in closing, I guess I'd be interested in what you think and
> or what some of your colleagues may think. Thanks .....ANGEL
>
> --
> Lots of info/messageboards: http://www.fibromyalgiachat.com/forums/
>