Hi everybody, it is me Brenda from Ottawa. Well the past 3 months have
been a living hell. I am having alot more pain then usual and been to
emergency 5 times since christmas. I am sick and tired of going to
emeregncy and all they do is an x-ray give me a good dose of pain
medication and them telling me sorry there is nothing more we can do for
you until you have a full blown obstruction. It has been really hard I
am ready to give up I know I have to be strong and learn to deal with
this. I am just sick and tired of being in so much pain. This week I
had only one good day the rest has been spent in bed. I have been
crying on and off getting upset with the kids for really no reason and
my poor boyfriend I really don't know how much more he can take of all
this. I am trying to deal with the pain they have me on morphine
sulphate 60 mg 3 times a day and 5mg 2 tablets every four hours for top
up pain plus I go to the pain clinic now every 2 two weeks to have a
linocain infussion done. Still with all this I am in alot of pain.
I know this is going to sound bad and I know I wouldn't do it but there
has been the last couple of days where I wish I could die. I hate the
fact what this is doing to my family my friends don't call me any more
cause all they here is well I am in pain . How do I get through all
this I know I have friends onhere that I talk to like my friend Tammy
and she has been such a sweet and dear friend when I was down I went and
checked my mail and she sent me a card which brightened up my day. I
talk to the doctors and all they say to me is Brenda you have to get the
idea out of your head that someone will operate on you cause no one will
touch you because of the amount of adhesions I have on my bowel. I am
sorry for venting but I know I can vent here with all my sisters who
deal with this also. I do have one question is it normal not to have a
proper sleeping habit because recently I have gone almost 72 hrs with no
sleep then I sleep a whole day and then it starts again does anyone else
have this. Well I am going to stop writing cause if I don't I could go
on and on. So god bless everyone and here is to hoping for a pain free
life sometime.