It started as I fell on the bar of a mans bicycle. I ruptured everything down there externally. It took me almost a year to heal. (broke all the blood vessels) Then I had periods that were 3 weeks out of the month.
4 laporoscopies later I had my vaginal hysterectomy at age 24. The Dr forgot to tie a vein so an emergency laporotomy was done three days later. One year later another laporotomy was done. In 2000 my ultrasound showed a mass 11 cm long and growing...Adhesions had glued my intestines to my pelvic cavity..I was filling up with a brown fluid (the after blood they said).
An enormous cyst removed, a bowel resection and all my pelvic adhesions removed (with appendix). A year and more then 15 hospital visits later (lasting three to four days with obstruction) another lap surgery done a year after that...another done and so on. It has been almost two years since my last surgery(performed by my gastroentorologist and gyno). I try and not be an emotional wreck....some days are better then others.
I walk around starving so I dont get the pain when I eat. Some days I go nuts and gorge hardley tasting anything....my body screams for food. I then climb the moutain to get back on track and away from the binge eating.
My pain grows worse yet this time it is my ovaries. I collect so much ascites fluid inside me I dont know my real true weight. I felt good the other night having not eaten much at all...time for some love with my dearest boyfriend. Yet the pain was so intense I spent the aftermath retching from it. I am broken I kept crying. I am so sorry I kept saying. I woke this morning having to take my pills (compazine, darvecet, bentyl) and feeling as though I was just released from an all night battle with my body. The worst is always at night. Even in my dreams I awake from there horror of pain and gore to find......I have been in massive pain as I slept. No doctor here in the valley will perform the surgery to remove my ovaries. I might not make it through is their answer. To MT Zion I went in hopes of finding someone. I so despertly want a cure. I have had the gel the mesh....within six months I am not longer pain free nor am I able to eat.
Dr **** suggested shutting down my ovaries. Putting me into full menapause for three months (lupron). IF the pain persists, there is nothing he can do, it's just adhesions. If the pain goes away he will do the surgery. Since my bowels are so close to my skin now an automatic resection would be done even if only removing my pocketed ovaries. It's to much they say. No one wants to try. Resection after resection. Cysts after adhesions..I feel like such a loser when I miss work as I did today. I want to be my old self...so my boyfriend sent me this web link...The first letter I saw was a women like me. I wept profusly. I was not alone. Why had I not tried to find more like me over the years? I dont know. I am gratful to find someone cared enough to show me. So I am here. Whether what I have been through can help you or you can help me...Know I am here. I am with you in your pain and suffering.
We are no longer alone. Thank you all for your words, discoveries and feelings. Today an immense burden was lifted from me.
-- Your friend in life through pain and frustration, Monica