I just had to respond to your message. My heart goes out to you in empathy. My marriage failed because of my illness. Probably more because we put too much faith in visual hope. Without a tangeable reason to hope, the spirit decays.
That's when true faith is necessary. Faith is the substance of things hoped for; the assurance of things not seen. I'm a religious man, but I'm not talking about religion. I'm talking about faith as a quality of character.
My recommendation is that you not put too much of your energy banging your head against the wall of the medical community. Just forgive them for the flawed human beings that they are.
Instead, make assertive statements to yourself. Statements that are hope-based, but not necessarily specific. Although there are specific treatments that are interesting, you're not going to get a lot of certainty from a doctor. The classic doctor/patient conversation that you and I want is not going to happen. There just isn't good enough information for the medical profession to "profess" much. Any doctor that does, would be standing out too far. They necessarily adopt a "herd" mentality. It's required by their liability insurance. It is the standard by which they will be judged in court.
So just let it go. And let your soul be your pilot. You don't need anyone to tell you it's okay to feel what you're feeling. You can do that all by yourself. When it comes to your body, you are the expert. Entitled to express an expert opinion.
I wish I had made more positive assertions. Maybe I could have helped provide a more balanced environment in my marriage. When two people live together, it's only natural for one to "spur" the other on toward various ambitions and goals. But that dynamic can be very destructive when an illness blocks things. That's when character counts. That's when you find out that interruptions in our plans can become, if not a happy thing, then a good thing.
In faith,
-- Mark in SeattleP.S. Here's a joke: Do you know the definition of "expert?" An "ex" is a has-been. And a "spert" is a drip under pressure.
At Wed, 23 Nov 2005, Marlene wrote: > >I'm new to this site. I have been reading a lot of these messages in >the forum. It's been amazing to me still as a medical person how much >of problem adhessions can be for people. Especially how much pain and >suffering people go through for something that it seems like should be >fixable. I've watched and been in on surgeries for adhessions, but >until I started having trouble my self?? Over the last 2 years I've had >4 different surgeries.