Re: I hate the depression that comes with the pain
From: Am (ammikesell@yahoo.com)
Tue Jan 3 19:49:52 2006
Rach:
I have lived with adhesions since an initial cervical cancer surgery
gone wrong more than 10 years ago. I have struggled with friends,
family and doctors trying to 'empathize' with what I am feeling but
never fully understanding. Unless you live it daily you simply can't.
Like you there are days when I can't get out of bed (and wouldn't want
to anyway). If I move wrong the adhesions in my abdomen rip and the
cycle begins all over again. In 10 years I've had 15 surgeries where I
have been pulled apart and vital organs removed one-by-one. Each time
the doctors 'hope' it will make things better. It never does. Today
was another a wrong move day (happy new year, huh). Like you I was
starting down a path of depression. I hate the 'pain pill' solution
that most doctors want to give me. I want my life back and I hate that
this simply isn't possible. So I turned to the internet instead of my
medication and found your posting. Rach, sometimes in life all we have
is each other. We do share each others pain. Reading your message let
me know that someone does understand how I feel each day. I can't seem
to explain it to my family, friends or doctors even though they want to
get it. But without ever having ever met me, you (as sorry as I am for
you that you must live as I do) summarize many of my daily feelings in
one email posting. You aren't alone. I am here, in this world, feeling
just like you do.
--
Am
At Thu, 29 Dec 2005, Rachel wrote:
>
>I am now in pain again & it is soooo depressing. I know this is normal
>for me, but every time the pain starts getting worse I get into a
>depression.
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