as i sit alone at home and in so much pain and reading everones story i feel tired.i need to have surgey and i know it --you know your body better than anyone and i know what is going on.i am scared more this time than any of the other 15 surgies i have had,i have a rally bad feeling this time and i do not understand it.i never though i would ever get tired of fighting but i am now.and then on the other hand i know is a chicken -hit way out.
why am i so scared this time?is it something i already know?i spend all the time i can hoping to find a answer for me on the web but i have just come along of stories like mine.i know this will never end for me because i think it is already to late.for the last years and many sgies they have only cut my adhesions lose and left the rest.my doctor tells me they are massive and thick and he is scared to try and remove them but i can not hardly move and forget about eating because i pay for it for hours.the lax do not help me anymore and i am puuting on weight as i speak and i am swole all over it makes it hard to breath.
i have been dealing with this for 20 years and i have not ever been so scared or had this feeling before and i do not understand.i have a grandbaby coming next week and i having a hard time just sitting and i hope i can be there i know my kids were left out but now my grandkids.i though this was suppose to be the best years of your life.unless i talk to someone here i have no one who understands.i know people think youy are just feeling sorry for self and maybe i am but i know i am getting real tried.i have always got mad in the past and faced this head on but i think i am losing the fight.
thanks for knowing there is someone out there out there that will read this.terri terri_schmitz@yahoo.com