Mood swings caused by pain
From: Lynda (aliciasnanny@aol.com)
Fri Jul 11 19:33:14 2008
I feel sometimes like I am losing my mind, with the mood swings I have
been experiencing lately. Although I have been living with adhesion
pain for many years now, this is the worst it has been ever, and it has
been a few months straight now. I try to function, but I am only
fooling myself because for just a few hours of normalcy I pay for days
(going grocery shopping puts me down for days). I have been screaming
from the heavens that I am in pain, yet everyone around me just expects
me to keep on going. I finally broke down and went to the ER last week
because I couldn't tolerate it without pain meds anymore, and like a
fool I insisted on being released instead of kept because I felt
obligated to my family to be home. I am waiting on insurance so I have
not been able to see my regular doc, and the ER only gave me ten pain
pills. Needless to say, a week later I am out. Yesterday I tried to
shop, and halfway through the store, I nearly collapsed in pain. I am
hurting so bad today and my first instinct is to go try to soak in a
warm bath for some relief, unfortunately the more I soak, the more
bladder infections I get, which just add to the pain. One minute I am
crying and sad from the pain, and the next I am violently angry at the
way my life is on hold. I am snapping at everyone because they just
don't seem to understand. I have been out of work since my gallbladder
surgery in January, because my boss said I didn't have enough time in to
hold my job via FMLA, and I need to get back to working, but don't even
feel up to interviewing. I had a great interview lined up this week,
and I forced myself to get ready, all the while wondering how if I got
hired I would even be able to do the job. Right before we were leaving,
something happened to upset me, and the pain leaped forward in my mind
and I was done. I couldn't try to push it away anymore and I had to
cancel the interview. Now, my husband is being nasty because we need my
income soon. Today is the 4th of July and we are invited to a BBQ, and
all I want to do is climb back in bed....but will probably force myself
to go because I don't want my Mom to be mad that we couldn't come. Isn't
this crazy? If I had a disease they could physically see, and I begged
off from a party, everyone would be understanding, but because they
don't understand it--they will make me feel obligated to go. Then I
will suffer and be miserable anyway. I just don't know what to do
anymore. I can't enjoy the food anyway, because the pain after I eat
and the nauseau from the pain will surely make me even worse. I just
don't know what to do!
--
Thank you,
Lynda (43yr old female)
New Jersey