I remember a few weeks before I quit full time work, going into my office closing the door. I was in so much pain. I tried to put my feet up to my chest and must have sounded like I was about to give birth the natural way. Long term pain can effect us in many ways. Perhaps, maybe giving yourself a respit at least on the weekends with medicine. (Something I read in a Chronic Pain support group book). Take care of yourself, Denise