Re[2]: Appearances Can Be Deceiving...

From: Laura A Johnsrud (johnsrud@allina.com)
Fri Dec 3 14:55:33 1999


Rhonda,

I've heard that song and dance all day today. "You must be feeling better because you're smiling" or "here all day" or "not complaining" or "don't look sick". Everyone has 1,001 lines. They don't understand, but then again, I guess I don't expect them to understand. Some days, no matter how much pain I'm in, I just decide that I need to pretend that my body is "normal". I am going out to a concert tonight, which I haven't done in months. I know that I am going to be in that much more pain tomorrow because I have pushed myself beyond my limits today, but I'll think about that tomorrow. Those thoughts that creep in every once in a while like "what did I ever do to deserve this" can wait. I need my night of freedom. Then I will go back and resume the fight. Does that sound completely insane?

Laura

____________________Reply Separator____________________ Subject: Re: Appearances Can Be Deceiving... ____________________Reply Separator____________________ Author: <adhesions@obgyn.net> Date: 12/3/99 3:10 PM

At Fri, 3 Dec 1999, Rhonda wrote: >
>Yesterday someone made the comment to me that because I don't look sick,
>I will have a hard time convincing a doctor that I'm truly in pain and
>need to have my adhesions dealt with. I do take the time some days to
>put on make-up because it makes me feel better. I also dress relatively
>well. I work in a conservative law firm so I can't wear jeans to work.
>I've been overweight for years so I'm not exactly skin & bones.
>
>The person that said this to me said that she can't even tell when I'm
>in pain. I work very hard to make myself look presentable and I have
>the "stiff upper lip" mentality so I'm not one to allow casual/business
>acquaintances to know I'm feeling. Am I to be penalized by the doctors
>just because I don't look like I'm at death's door and because my manner
>is almost always sunny? I was raised to never allow my personal feelings
>to show to anyone other than immediate family.
>
>Ordinarily someone else's opinion wouldn't concern me but this person is
>usually right on the money when it comes to things of this nature. It
>really bothers me that I'm being judged on this basis.

I do the same thing, except got the weight ;oss, I am like you, I get up and put make up on every morning for me and my husband, but more for myself. Alot of people tell me the same thing, they cannt tell am in pain. I try to be cheerfull around people, and I lay lowerat home. I still am disgusted that the last thing my gyn said was that he and a generl surgeon will have to go back in, and he would be callling me, and the pain dr told me more or les that it could get WORSE, and that I guess the drs will no mess with me, I would like to hear it from his own mouth, I have an appt for dec. 13th, maybe he is waiting to talk to me then. O h well, he also has seemed like he waiting and stalling me til new barriers come out. Take care!

Kepp on smiling! :) Toni


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