Many who post on the IAS board are reaching out for that hope, and many who respond are doing it because they want to offer that hope...and once those hands meet in a grip in of commitment, understanding and compassion great things begin to happen in both lives, and then it spreads as the next hands connect and so on and so on..until we have woven a web of fierce determination in beating this disease..together! Strength is in numbers, that is the truth, in numbers we shall conquer, and we shall...together!
I believe that it will be in the numbers of people that make up a well informed, responsible, committed and supported society that we will one day be able to get the desperately needed attention for our disease, " Adhesion Related Disease! " I believe that society will be the " International Adhesion Society "...I believe that one day WE will beat this disease, conquer it, eradicate it, maybe not in my lifetime, but I do believe we are on the right track to get it done!! I believe all these things..
And I believe that we are currently making a very big dent in getting this disease turned around for many who suffer ARD! I believe there are many answers yet to be found, and I believe they will be found!!
Many of those who have reached out through the IAS for help have been able to find support, friendship, education, medical intervention, strength from others words, empowerment to speak up for themselves, they have learned ways to secure a higher quality of medical care for themselves, they have learned that you cannot change your past medical history but you can change it from being repeated....and as important as all the rest is that they have learned that, " YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! "
" YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! " To me those words speak volumes! I can all relate to them. Not only can I relate to them, I can FEEL what they mean! Words filled with the power to instilling feelings!! Words that filled me with an immediate emotional rise of hope, excitement, power, anticipation, curiosity, relief, peace, relaxation, ....you can add your own words of how you felt when you first came upon this site, I am sure, and I would love to hear them!! :-) I am not sure of lots of things in life, BUT if there is one thing I am sure of it is that the words, " YOU ARE NOT ALONE " are the epitome of what this society stands for!
I believe that it is important that persons who find this site feel comfortable in using it as it is filled with ways that will ultimately offer them some help in taking control of their disease, to what degree, we can't always know, but we know it WILL offer someone hope..and that is vitally important when your suffering any type of chronic pain that infringes on your life like ARD does! I sometimes think that there is NO other disease as infringing as ARD only because ARD seems to be so secretive unlike Cancer, MD or MS among other disease's that ARE so visible in the public eye!! And of course, it is my disease, so of course I think it is the worst disease out there, and why wouldn't I regardless of who else suffers what!! ARD is my thunder, so be it!!
It is common knowledge that when lots of people come together to share thoughts, experiences, opinions, wisdom and feelings there are going to be ones that stir the pot so to speak, ( I am trying to throw in a bit of " subtleness" but I am not very good at doing it soooo I'll cut to the chase here...) ( Bev smiling at Mary W. here!!! )
When we do come across a person who is dealing with a high degree of pain and suffering, and that suffering is reflected in the words they share here on the IAS postings, we can accept that. That is one reason we are here, to be a venting post at times. Not everything is going to be positive, and pleasant to hear, and things will be challenging as well! But when it is repeated over and over and negative words after negative words without substantiation and rambling out of anger on an issue that has no basis for anyone to be able to help with...and there IS NO avenue for finding a resolution to the problem ... it is then time to suspect that it has become a bait to argue issue! Not acceptable behavior in an adult, no matter the suffering, we all still have to maintain a respect of self and of others!! We have experienced that very thing here from time to time, and we will experience it again from time to time....it's okay! What we don't want to do is add fuel to the flames, add insult to injury, per say, to letters of that sort! What we strive for and we want are for all people to be able to speak free here, never to repress a thought or opinion...true, BUT we also do not want to let ourselves get caught up or "baited" in on going pushing matches with disfunctional persons....as that type of thing might, just might cause one suffering person NOT to want to come aboard the IAS perceiving it to be too negative and exhausting for them to endure due to their own suffering! And most of you here today have that very same issue to deal with...not having energy to get you through a day, let alone expending it on such negative issues! ( I shudder thinking about that )
When we do see an emotional letter posted here, one can either elect to respond to it or not, and for me, to respond to it would depend on the content of the email! If I respond to it, am I really going to help the situation or might I be " baited" into a battle of wits and words? Many times when dealing with a child who is persistent on having their way or the last words, we adults get caught up in that " game " by trying to reason with them...when you stop to think about it, what do we really expect a childs response to be, " OH, hey, I never looked at it that way before, hmmm, maybe I will just stay in my bed after all you make a lot of sense!! " " I don't think so...." I do believe that it is important to offer an explanation for what we are asking of a child, but once is plenty..and then we simply repeat our request to them, or our expectation of what we are asking of them, over again and maybe even ONE more time...and then it is done! They produce or time out!! ( Do not exceed two minutes though for you parents of children under 6 years old and taking this a your child parenting course today!!! :-) But this is how we deal with a child..not another adult!!! Because it is normal for a child to challenge, we as adults must pick and choose our " battles " ( the push and shove with words ) as most issues are NOT worthy of such a battle....and we can do that same thing in dealing with adults....it is a simple measure of learning how!! ( Bev winking here!! )
I believe that when we see this type of behavior in an adult repeated over and over, ( what I term " disruptive " behavior, ) I am of the opinion that it just might be better NOT to allow ourselves to be baited into the " battle " by replying to issues that are so negative, angry, inflammatory in nature and are not resolvable issues! Though many issues are not resolvable in nature on here, most are not hurtful and disruptive in nature nor repeated in attempts to lure one into a battle of wits and words! ( Even though this may not be the intent of the person, and they are probably not even aware they are doing it, it appears to be the result of dysfunctional communication methods one probably grew up with and that is the only form of communication they know, but is doesn't make it acceptable!! )
I think that it might be better if we can stop and think before we respond to postings of this sort, lets think about NOT clogging the pipes with more and more attention being brought to issues that are repeatedly disruptive in nature! I am not saying negative or challenging in nature, or filed with emotions, I give you all credit for understanding what I am saying without having to spell it out...( well, I am spelling it out per say, but you know what I mean!!!! ) JUST disruptive in nature, and we know which ones they are....don't get caught by this mind set, by this type of anger, lets not make this a battle ground, but BUILD the IAS character and reputation so that we can continue to spread the word of life, hope and help as we reach our hands out to other ARD sufferers so that they might be able to find some peace within their pain as well ....and I BELIEVE we can do it..TOGETHER!!
Tune in another dya for another lesson in parenting!!! ( just kidding folks!! )
In friendship and Peace.. Bev