"Your pain is being caused by depression. You are depressed because you are fornicating. Let us pray right now that God will forgive you...."
"You just need to go see my Mother, she's a self-proclaimed mental health therapist..."
"The x-ray shows you have a very weird shaped torso and abdomen, this is causing your problems, nothing I can do about that...."
"My back hurts sometimes too..."
"People like you are the reason we have to deal with these damn managed care insurance companies! I have to go take a call from someone at an Insurance Company that has been impossible to get in touch with..."
"Who says you have Adhesions!?"
This was after surgery where an endo and pelvic pain specialist excised adhesions on my colon exactly where my pain had been: "Everything looks great! I did not see anything. Must be Irritable Bowel Syndrome. We're gonna put you back on Birth Control pills and give you IBS medicine and you should be fine." Already walking out of the hospital room he turned around to my Mom and I and said "Oh, by the way, you did have some adhesions, which is just scar tissue, that I seen in the same area as your pain so I got them down, but adhesions don't normally cause pain so I doubt that was the problem. And they will just probably come back anyway..." This is when my Mom started getting worried that I was a hypochondriac, and personally, me too! But I knew the pain was real!
But now thanks to this Message Board and all I've learned from Helen and all the wonderful ladies here, I feel much more empowered and I just dare a doctor say something like this to me now! :-) I am forever grateful for this website and message board!!!!
Thanks, Joyce
At Thu, 21 Dec 2000, Helen Dynda wrote:
>
>Dear Mary, Since your message did not appear as it "should've" -- I
>decided to re-post it for you. I like your idea of asking others to add
>to your list of "I COULD'VE/SHOULD'VE." I hope that many will respond
>with theirs as well. ( Please read my message to you -- below your
>message.) -- Helen
>
>[]]]] At Thu, 21 Dec 2000, Mary Wade wrote:
>
>Feeling good...oh so good...after my recent surgery with Drs. Reich and
>Redan. Now it just needs to stay this way! Grrrrrrrr.
>
>During this recuperation period, my mind has been working overtime
>thinkinabout the circumstances that have brought us all together here.
>Over the years, I could've/should've done SOOOO much better in
>advocating for my own care. It is tough because our problems are so
>little appreciated by the medical community. The fact that ARD is not
>widely recognized by the medical community keeps me from being bitter
>now about some of the assessments of my condition that were tossed my
>way over the years.
>
>I have been thinking about how I should've/could've followed up on all
>of these...ahem......"helpful" assessments. Here's my idea. Read
>through the following list of comments that I have received from
>professionals....mostly physicians....some physical therapists....over
>the years. I was STUpid to have let some of these assessments slide.
>But then, you know how it is when you hurt. I do know how I would
>handle this sort of drivel now, but maybe by throwing light on my own
>ineptness, this can serve to help others.
>
>Send me your ideas about how I could've/should've handled these comments
>that would not have left me stuck...for months and years....before once
>again reaching out for help.
>Get the idea? This is like a page in a workbook....a practice session in
>nudging our fellow fallible human beings, who happen to be in the
>medical profession, toward responsibility for their sometimes
>less-than-stellar dismissals of our complaints. Here goes! (I'll try to
>collect comments and put them all together in some sort of coherent
>fashion if you all send me ideas.)
>
>"You are just a tight-assed woman with a little myofascial pain."
>
>"The barium enema shows that you have the gut of an 80-year old." NOTE:
>I was 45 at the time.
>
>"You just need to get up and get moving."
>
>"All women have pelvic pain from time to time."
>
>"You have a Type A personality...more susceptible to stress."
>
>"Your problems are postural....stand up straight."
>
>"You just need to work on your abs and stretch out those tight
>hamstrings."
>
>"We don't really if the pain is physical or mental. Either way, you
>need help."
>
>"You need the pain to feel alive."
>
>"How is your relationship with your husband?"
>
>"There is a pain loop in your brain...you feel a bit of pain when you
>are stressed and you feel more stress when you feel pain. It's a
>vicious cycle. You need to break the cycle."
>
>"I have nothing to offer you."
>
>~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
>
>Dear Mary,
>It is so good to hear that you are feeling good after your recent
>surgery with Drs. Reich and Redan at Scranton, PA. You reached out for
>help for your ARD ( adhesion-related disease ) by having your surgery
>done by two of the BEST surgeons in the world. By doing this the odds
>are in your favor for a successful recovery!! Best wishes for continued
>progress with the necessary healing that takes place following surgery!!
>
>Happy Holidays to you and your family!!
>
>With love, Helen
-- Joyce