Re: Uploading Photos to Quilt

From: Millie (
Sat Mar 3 14:09:03 2001

Dear Mary, Yes, every bit of what you say makes sense to me. I went to that ob/gyn yesterday. I told her I've been worse since the surgery. I asked her if she could have some tests run, such as a CAT scan, or as much as I hate them,those barium tests, as I have steady pain, and uno urge to go. I told her the last decent bm I had was around Feb.3. SHe insisted I look much better since the surgery. I told her looks are very deceiving. I asked her whow the pathology looked, and she said it only showed a few tiny fibroids. She now says I had moderate adhesions. I didn't get mad at her, but I had a list of questions that I needed answered. I asked her if she ever heard tell of adhesiolysis. She said that was an old treatment. Was it? I thought it may be fairly new. She said it doesn't work for everyone. She said I could try it. Now she says I should try pain management. I said I would. She said she removed all of it because I cried that I had a lot of pelvic pain. I told her I have much more pain since the TAH. She still insists I look much better since. I may as well talk to the wall. I get such pains behind the navel, and it's harder to pass gas. Mary, I'm so scared that I don't know what to do. I did sign up for pain management. I didn't tell her I met Dr. Redan. But when I mentioned adhesiolysis, she said I could try it, but it doesn't work for everyone. As far as the grief cycle I am somewhere between denial and anger, but with a hair of acceptance thrown in. I saved and even printed up that paper you are talking about. My husband went in with me, but didn't say a word. Thanks for answering me. I am still waiting for my medical records to be copied and released to me. Millie

>----- Original Message ----- From: "Karla" <> To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS" <> Sent: Saturday, March 03, 2001 9:31 AM Subject: Re: Uploading Photos to Quilt

> Millie, > > I totally agree with Mary and I guess I am guilty of not explaining myself

> more clearly. When we go into the doctor's office ready to do battle we > will often times come out empty handed if it is not handled correctly. > > We cannot go in with all our weapons drawn so to speak. What I try and do > now...and it has taken me a long time to get to where I can even question > the sit and hear what he has to say. When it appears that he is > going to do nothing...or is going to do something we don't like...that is > when I start asking questions. We can't enter their offices already on the > attack because they will automatically put up every wall possible. Once > they have done what they are going to do I start asking my own questions and > making my own demands....but I don't come across as being demanding because > I don't do it in an attacking fashion. When I last dealt with not getting > the appropriate pain medicine I told them that the medicine was just not > working....I heard what they had to say...then I told them very nicely that > I was aware of patient's rights and my right to receive adequate pain > relief. That has worked every single time. But as Mary has stated, I think > it only works because I am not attacking the doctor. > > Karla

>> ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Mary Wade" <> > To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS" > <> > Sent: Saturday, March 03, 2001 7:51 AM > Subject: RE: Uploading Photos to Quilt > > > Dear Millie, First I want to apologize for not getting back to you before > > you went to the doctor. I am usually gone for part of each work week and > > do not get on the computer to answer emails. > > > > I don't know that I have much to add at this point to that > "Coulda/Shoulda" > > paper that I sent you earlier. I wrote most of what I know as "workable" > > in that paper. I'd love for others to edit it and add suggestions to that > > piece. I was going to attach it now but see that I don't have it on this > > computer. Ask if you want it. It's in the archives somewhere, too. > > > > Often, I don't think it's so much WHAT we what our body language > > is saying to them. In my work as an audiologist in an medical office, I > > see patients all day long. Over the years, we learn to "read" all the > > unspoken messages as well as the spoken ones. Someone comes in ready to > > beat me over the head? Do I pick up on that immediately? You bet. What > > is the normal human reaction to that? Defensive position. > > > > If you want your health care provider to HELP you....don't put them in > that > > defensive position because immediately you are off to a bad start. They > > are highly trained, yes....but they are HUMAN. And so are we patients. > > Part of the human condition is one of "no guarantees" except that of > > eventual physical death. My life was not given with a "pain-free > > guarantee" stamped on my butt. The Serenity Prayer....which I can't > > quote....(maybe someone else can post it) a good summary of the > > attitude I have had to hang on to over the years. > > > > Now comes the hard part. The first step is figure out what to do with > your > > animosity. If you need to talk to a professional counselor-type to work > > through some of this, just go do it. Can't hurt....might help. The > mental > > stress of keeping that going does not help with the only makes > > it worse. I am not smart at telling other people how to do this. I just > > know that we have to realize that when we experience a tragic loss of any > > kind...that we will go through a grief cycle. The stages of that cycle > > are: 1) denial, 2) anger, 3) bargaining, 4) acceptance. The acceptance > > stage frees us up to get on with our lives, but we have to deal with each > > of those other steps first. And just because we get to the acceptance > > level at one point in time....doesnt' mean that we don't have to trek back > > through that cycle at a later date. > > > > In the sorts of encounters that we chronic-pain ppl have with doctors, we > > have to know going into the consultation that we do with our egos...and > how > > the docs handle their egos....makes a big difference in how much progress > > will be made. You get two egos battling and the stuff for which you are > > seeking attention ends up on the floor. And by "ego," I am not using the > > word as it's commonly used. By "ego" I mean the absolute unwillingness to > > let go of the "me-me-me-ness" for a just sit there and try to > > "be" that other person. It's not so hard to do this. Practice at home > > with your family. When/if we can drop the ego-dance in our trickiest of > > our human interactions, it's amazing how open, honest, and caring the > other > > person can be. We have to be willing to REALLY hear what our docs are > > saying. When a doc says, "I can't help you now.".....that means, "I don't > > have anything to offer you right now." We may not LIKE that idea...but > the > > doc is telling the truth as he/she knows it. If that is what the doc > says, > > then the ONLY course of action with that doc is to ask, "Where can you > send > > me to get me some help. Give me your very best advice and what you see as > > the options." (Just curious...what did your ob/gyn say about you going to > > see Dr. Redan?) I always like to throw in....while looking deeply into > > their eyes, "Let's say that I am your most beloved > > mother/daugher/sister/wife.....what now do you advise?" > > > > Does any of this make any sense? It's very difficult to describe in words > > "what works for me" when talking about attitude. Please keep in mind this > > is my style.....others here have other styles of communication that work > > well also. I can only speak to what I know....or as my friend says, "I > can > > do no better than to walk in the light that I have." (Did THAT just sound > > like a disclaimer??? LOL at me!) OK...outta here... > > > > In friendship, Mary > > > > Original Message----- > > From: Millie [] > > Sent: Thursday, March 01, 2001 2:40 PM > > To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS > > Subject: Re: Uploading Photos to Quilt > > > > Dear Mary, > > How are you? I have an extremely important question for you. Tomorrow I go > > back to that ob/gyn who did my TAH and cut adhesions. How shold I talk to > > her? I feel I have a lot of questions that I want answered, some of which > > she won't like, I'm sure. > > Mary, How do I get her to take me seriously about the bowel problems and > > the > > pain? Also, How do I let her know how miserable I am, and how serious I am > > about these issues? I'm no better after a month. > > Thanks so much for your help. > > Millie

>> > ----- Original Message ----- > > From: "Mary Wade" <> > > To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS" > > <> > > Sent: Wednesday, February 28, 2001 11:07 PM > > Subject: Re: Uploading Photos to Quilt > > > > > OK...stupid question here. If we all have photos on the quilt, when we > > > click on the master list of the quilt, will it take forever to load? Or > > > just slower loading when we click on an individual name? I was thinking > > > that if the whole quilt loads much slower because of the pictures, it > > might > > > be discouraging for someone just breezing through. BUT, I DO want to > see > > > all your darlin I might be just fine with letting the ppl > > > breezing through be discouraged at slow loading times :))))) I just > > clicked > > > on Kathy Lindley's quilt block..and it is really striking to see the > face > > > behind the words. Seems....different somehow. Hits me harder. Cold in > > > Kansas, Mary > > > > > > At 09:54 PM 2/28/01 -0600, you wrote: > > > >I just tried to upload my Photo and it didn't work! > > > >I am very well acquainted with doing this and I tried 2 different > > > >formats and it rejected both. > > > >I sent an email to the administrator asking why. > > > >I will let you know. > > > >JEAN (from PA) > > > > > > > >-- > > > >Jean (from PA) > > > > > > > > to the unsubscribe form at > > > > > > > > > > > to the unsubscribe form at > > >

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