Thanks Mary ;-)

From: niko (
Mon Mar 12 14:22:05 2001

Thanks Mary,

It is a scary event though. I really do feel quite crazy ;-) It could be from the medication, I really hadn't thought of that. I refuse to take anything to help me sleep. My partner wants to look at some herbs just to relax me enough to get to sleep. It is a great thing to figure out.. honestly I'm not complaining, just don't understand myself ;-))

Love to you AS ALWAYS !!! Trace xo

>----- Original Message -----
From: "Mary Wade" <> To: "Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS" <> Sent: Tuesday, 13 March 2001 7:10 Subject: Re: Help

> Trace, honey! I'm mental, too, now! I can not believe what you wrote.
> It's exactly what I am going through. I look at myself and think, "WHAT
> is up with THIS?!?!?!?" It's getting better. The sleeping is no longer a
> problem. Concentration is improving slowly. Think some of it is coming
> off the meds? I dunno. It's like I don't know who I am now. I didn't
> realize how my whole world was organized around my pain. But, it's a
> darned sweet thing to get to figure out, I am thinking. Mary
> -----Original Message-----
> From: niko []
> Sent: Monday, March 12, 2001 2:36 PM
> To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS
> Subject: Help
> Hi everyone:-)
> I am hoping to get some advice from you all.
> As most of you are aware, I had an operation a few weeks ago, and I'm pain
> free ;-)) I am forever grateful for that! I had been in pain for over a
> year before this operation. I had a lovely conversation with Colette this
> morning on ICQ, and as I was talking, my own problems kinda became clearer
> to me.
> I can't sleep, I get these awful butterflies in my stomach, they take my
> breath away, and I just toss and turn. Before the operation I would go
> three days at a time without sleep from the pain. I feel so lost without
> the pain. I know it probably sounds stupid, but I really feel so lost.
> My life as I knew it has totally changed. My suffering became this way of
> life. I am scared of doing something that will bring the pain back,
> probably because Endo was present again, I'm not sure. My philosophy has
> always been to worry about things when they happen, and all of a sudden, I
> am pain free and scared. I don't want the pain back, I still have NO pain.
> It's like my brain doesn't understand the change.
> The more I try to get my routine back, the more I start to panic that I
> can't do it. I'm not used to feeling this way, every other time I had a
> rest from the pain I would be off.
> I do feel guilty talking about this, as all of you are dealing with what
> I've been through, and a lot of you wish that you were pain free too.
> Is it possible to mourn the pain? Now I sound ridiculous. Has anyone else
> had this reaction?
> Any suggestions would be most appreciated, I have made an appointment with
> my doctor for Wednesday morning to discuss why this is happening to me,
> hopefully he won't think I'm an utter idiot.
> Your pain pal
> Trace xo
> << File: ATT00017.html >>

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