Re: I need to have a crying party.......anyone got an extra ear with a few to...

From: Todd Palmer (
Wed Mar 21 19:35:01 2001

Hi Missy, I remember not too long ago someone else was having a really hard time with their significant other. It was suggested that he sit down and read some of the postings from other women. He was able to draw his own conclusion that this is NOT a ploy to get attention. We are real people and all share the same experiences with pain, doctors, meds, lack of self worth, low self esteem...You get the picture. My husband even went to the doctor with me and my doctor painted a very grim picture. After my last surgery, December 1, 2000, my doctor came out of the OR and told my husband it was the worst case of adhesions he had ever seen in 29 years of practice. You always hate to hear that but somehow it makes you feel better when your pain is validated. Have your husband sit down and read some letters. If he won't come to the computer, print out some letters for him to read. My husband now too keeps up with all of my pain pals and asks how so and so is doing, how did their surgery go, and so on. It didn't always use to be that way. You know men are very "visual" so try to show him you are not doing this to make his life miserable. If he understands the "disease", he will be more understanding and realize that you really need his love and support. Helen D. posted a bunch of websites dealing with this and many other related issues. My favorite is "When the Pain is Invisible" . That fits us to a "T". They are all in the archives. Also, I have over 200 postings and websites saved in my favorites folder marked "adhesion info". When someone close to me needs to have a better understanding of what I am going through, I find the right information, print it out, and give it to them. I go back a lot to reread things too.

Know that we are all here to send you love and support. This group is the best thing that ever happened to me. (Well, almost!!!) I know you will find it as helpful as I did. Don't worry, your hubby will come around!!! Love & Pain Free Hugs, Lisa

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