Good Morning friends:

Fri Mar 30 07:10:54 2001

Well as I sat up all nite trying to catch up on law studies I just couldnt concentrate. There have been so many letters posted crying out in despair, fear, anxiety, nervous and just plain old being fed up. Well ladies I have to tell you that I have been on the pity pot for a long time and thanks to some wonderful people on line I've learned not to give up but to keep fighting, to keep going, to keep living. Life was given to us for living, for loving, and for laughing. When I was fighting my cancer fight I took up a slogan and it was simply this: I am not living to die, but dying to live! Well I've learned that this applies to ARD too. You life undergoes so many changes, you family doesn't know how to help us and tend to come off acting as though they don't care. OUr friends, it seems, are afraid to come by for fear that it's contagious. In many ways, this battle agains ARD is much much more difficult than my battles with cancer. Cancer gives you options, it gives you hope of it being over and you being able to go back to your old life, but ARD just steals your life, you willingness to keep fighting and you have got to dig down deep to find it. Well thanks to my "angel mom" I've learned that no matter how bad it is, I can and will get though this. 10 years ago they gave me 6 months to live! HAH! Proved them wrong didn't I? It's going to be the same way with the ARD I have leanred you can not take more more than one day at a time, one minute at a time and so on and so foth! I still amfraid to et too much btut I iufe I shouldn't of left teh dog home alone, ut I did, so my fault. I just a to go ee my so in his first paly and I was so proud. OK I am falling aslee so I am gointo bed guys. I love you all for your support, but I am falling asleep. Te still don't know what is etxactly is going on but I have an appt. in MIssissippi on the 5th and aill be going alone so say some preayers foem . OK I'm going to bed I can't type anymoer I love you all, Love Missy

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