To Lesa from Lin the Kiwi

From: J&L VERMEY (J.VERMEY@xtra.co.nz)
Wed Nov 28 14:40:31 2001


Hi Lesa

How do you like my pies? Freshly baked just for you!!!! (Ha ha ha) I only just discovered that these pictures move! I'm thrilled to have found them, I have HEAPS of them, all sort of different clipart - I'm into desktop publishing in a major way! Guess you can tell hu?

I am trying really hard to be positive, only thing is, I AGAIN did not sleep last night. It took all my will power not to get upset. For if I get upset my pain gets worse, and the worse the pain gets the more upset I can get. An never ending cycle isn't it?

Last night I started writing my Christmas e-mail letter (as I'm just not up to writing Christmas cards this year - and this is so much easier) and I started listing everything I am thankful for, it turned out to be quite a list. Made me feel humble. You know, my life may not be how I had envisioned it when I was growing up, but in spite of my ill health I find myself feeling happy.

I'm also very glad that I managed to snap myself out of a really bad space, I was very depressed for a long time, and I had given up on everything, I was just surviving, but not really living, not laughing, not having any fun. Many people wanted to help me, but the only person who could do it in the end was ME!

Now I'm back from the dead so to speak, (I was truly a zombie!). I'm back to being my OLD SELF. John likes to teas me a lot, and he's been complaining, but at the same time has a look of pride on his face, and a sparkle in his eye, that I have turned into a "chatter box". So I asked him, what would you rather I was a zombie or a chatter box. His reply? A "Zombox?"

I've also started doing something Jo suggested to someone a little while ago - to write down three things that made me smile today, before I go to bed, and that when I'm feeling down I can look back and see that my life isn't all bad! I really appreciate all the advice that Jo gives to people (I wish I could be like her, sigh) and apply that to my life as well. She really inspires me! And gives me tears in my eyes....

I so love the way you guys have accepted me into the group!!!

Love,

Lin (with tears in my eyes)


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