ADHESIONS Messages for December, 2001: Re: More ways to torture an uncaring health professional.....

Oh Lin

You and your wonderful husband John have added a new and trully wonderful dimension to this board!

Good onya Mate as us aussies would say! LOVED them, can't wait to get Shane to read them!

love & hugs to ya both

>From: "J&L VERMEY"

>Reply-To: adhesions@adhesions.org

>To: Multiple recipients of list ADHESIONS

>Subject: More ways to torture an uncaring health professional.....

>Date: Sat, 1 Dec 2001 17:11:54 -0600

>Just wanted to share this....

>On Friday night John and I went into Hamilton, 45 minute drive along a long and winding road, to go do our grocery shopping for the week, and to get something to eat - John likes to take me out to give me a change of scenery every now and then!

>While we were driving I was telling him about the e-mails some of you had sent on how to torture a health professional, with dental floss, who did not believe we adhesion sufferers can possibly be in such severe pain! Now my John is always full of mischief - and I could tell by the twinkle in his eye that he was formulating some ideas of his own. So I asked him, what would you do if I went to one of those doctors who refused to treat me with dignity, and frankly did not take me serious?

>This has happened in the past I went to see an A.H. who told me there was absolutely nothing wrong with me and that it was all in my head - last year I had the pleasure of seeing his expression when I told him that I now no longer had a large bowel, and that (at that time) I had a bag! I tell you - you know what this A.H. did after telling me that nothing was wrong with me? He sent me to a medical physician, who retired the day after my appointment with him! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! After that my G.P. made an appointment for me with my present day specialist, Mr Schroeder. But I'm telling you true, John was so frustrated that no one believed me that he had vowed to me that he would pull him up over his desk and deck him one - if he refused to listen to us - fortunately Mr Schroeder took one look at me, saw I was running one heck of a fever, took note of the track pants and sweatshirt I was wearing and asked if I wore that type of clothing when I was in a lot of pain? He examined me and immediately afterwards walked to his phone and rang the hospital's medical ward to arrange a bed for me - and that afternoon I was admitted, and taken into theatre - I was most grateful - as my surgeon was planning on going on holiday for a month that evening!

>Anyway, as we were driving along John started telling me of things you could possibly do if you're once more treated in this manner.... we laughed so much I almost cried, so, I wrote down what John had thought up - and so I share them with you, just DON'T take these suggestions too seriously!

> a.. If a doctor will not take you seriously and ignores your requests for pain relief - find out his / her address and then have a truck load of manure dumped in front of his / her house and sent him / her a note saying: "Now you can see what it is like if someone gives you a whole heap of shit!"

> b.. If you can not sleep because of your pain, and you've repeatedly told your doctor and he / she continues to refuse to give you something for your insomnia - find out your doctor's home phone number and every night ring him / her up at 2 o'clock in the morning to inform him/her that you can't sleep

> c.. If you are constantly suffering from agonizing pain, and you've been asking your doctor for pain relief - and he / she will not help you - find out your doctor's clinic fax number - then write a fax explaining to the doctor just how much pain you are in and that you would like to get some pain relief so that you don't have to continue to suffer - then as you fax it to the clinic out of office hours - but, as the fax starts to come out of your machine sellotape the top of your piece of paper to the bottom end, so that your fax will keep going and going - the next morning the medical staff will find your very long fax on their office floor - maybe they will finally get the message!

> d.. If your health professional is blasé about your constipation or diarrhea problems - put 1/2 teaspoon of caustic soda in his / her coffee - it'll give them the shits for the rest of the day - then remove ALL available toilet paper!

> e.. Another idea for the same situation - bake your doctor a cake but put a very large dose of laxative in the cake mixture before you bake it - if you make sure it is flavoured with for example chocolate they will not taste it - and they sure will find out what it is like to have to go to the toilet every 15 minutes! (Removing all toilet paper would give additional satisfaction!)

> f.. If you or a family member is a plumber and you suffer from chronic pain (and you're sick of being told to take 2 paracetamol for your pain - when you know very well you need something stronger - and the doctor refuses your requests) and he / she should happen to ring up to say that their toilet is blocked - tell him / her to throw in two paracetamol and call you in the morning....

> g.. If your doctor is insensitive to your needs - especially when it comes to your pain - find out his / her e-mail address and send him as many articles on pain as you can find.

>I must admit that when we left home that I was feeling a bit down I the dumps - put by the time we arrived at the supermarket we'd laughed so much that I felt literally as if a heavy load had been removed from my shoulders.

>Sometimes laughter can sure be a powerful medicine!

>Keep smiling,

>Lin