To my precious friends,
It’s a gloomy rainy summer’s day her in little old New Zealand. It’s hot and muggy! And the sky is dark and threatening. There’s a gale out, and I have to keep all the windows and doors shut—to keep it from coming in.
I was feeling gloomy. Then I remembered that my mother-in-law from Holland had sent me a Christmas CD that I hadn’t even listened to! To my surprise it turned out to be packed full of wonderful, rocky and upbeat Christmas carols, some in Dutch (which I understand) and some in English!
I ended up gently dancing through the living room with my dog—who thought it was such fun! And having a good time!
I’m going to make a copy of the CD to give to my sister, Wendy—she and her family will love it too—her little ones enjoy dancing to music.
I’m truly in the Christmas mood. And looking forward to doing our Christmas shopping tonight. I am so glad that John’s boss has given him this bonus, so we can buy some more Christmas decorations. I also need some new summer cloths—especially some t-shirts and pants—I hardly ever wear a skirt—just don’t feel comfortable in them, and I would like to have some summer nities, as it’s been so hot lately even at night.
We’re going to have a look at children’s toys as well, for Louise and Francis, our nieces. We always take our time to chose the right gift, one with which they can use their imagination and learn something from. I think because we are still kids at heart that that is the reason why our gifts are always THE favourite!
Apart from that we’re not going to buy any more presents. Just some nice groceries—so I can do some baking and cooking, although I am not planning to stray to far from the diet I am on! No use getting sick, it’ll only spoil the festivities.
On December 26th John and I are celebrating our tenth anniversary of the day we first kissed! When we knew we were meant for one another! We can hardly believe that ten years have gone by! It doesn’t seem so long ago. We’re planning on making a special candle lit dinner, and make it a nice romantic evening. I’m so looking forward to it!
I haven’t heard anything yet from my family about making plans for Christmas—and if they don’t say anything soon we will make our own plans—and it’ll be their own loss—I should not have to go around organizing everything!
John has promised to help me tidy up the house tomorrow morning. But in the mean time I am doing some dusting and cleaning—doing something for 10 minutes, and then resting for half an hour to an hour before I go and do another job, I know it is slow, but I do eventually get done what I want to get done. And I feel good about it because I achieved my goal.
I can’t get over how different I feel these days. Gone is the depression, it’s flown out of the window. I feel cheerful, although sometimes I do shed the odd tear, but I’m laughing again, and having fun. I’m happy and contend, there are so many things I am thankful for. The regular pain killers are making all the difference! I’m sleeping again, and I feel much more rested this morning. O.k. occasionally I still feel a bit anxious and irritable, but those periods are getting shorter and less frequent. I am truly regaining control of my life, and I have even resumed some normal activities. And John is happier too, more relaxed, and I see that twinkle in his eyes once more—without the look of constant worry on his face. He is sleeping better too, he is so in tune with me that if I am tossing and turning or biting on my lip to keep from exclaiming aloud because of my pain—that he wakes up even from the deepest of sleeps.
My family seem happier too, because I no longer tell them how I am truly feeling deep down inside, but using Jo’s gift of the word “UNBELIEVABLE”. They are contend to take things at face value, and think that because I am coping better, sounding happier and cheerful that the problem is gone. How wrong can they be?
Still, I don’t care anymore. I’ve got John, and I’ve got you my precious friends—who do not mind if I tell you about how miserable I am feeling and how much pain I am in.
I feel encouraged, and I am truly eager to make the most of my life. I am planning to live for a very long time—I’m aiming to live to a ripe old age—stuff those doctors who believe otherwise! I’m going to be with John until we are both old and gray. No more will I feel sorry for myself because nothing more can be done for me, because there is no cure. I’m going to live with hope in my heart, and a song in my head, and a smile on my face, a twinkle in my eye.
Thank you all for all the love and encouragement you are giving me! I feel so very blessed.
All my love,
-- Lin