AACCCKKK! stupid computer took out carriage returns! (was Re: Quantas maintenance logs...)

From: cathy:- (anonymous@medispecialty.com)
Tue Feb 12 22:59:12 2002


But the quote thingy brought them back. (Sorry, I know it isn't nearly so funny when you have to post a joke twice! Here's hoping I don't need a THIRD try!!!)

At Tue, 12 Feb 2002, cathy:- wrote: >
>One of the guys at work posted this today, and I thought everybody could
>use a good giggle!
>
>Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, known
>as "squawks," submitted by QUANTAS pilots--and the solution recorded by
>maintenance engineers. By the way, QUANTAS is the only major airline
>that has never had an accident. (almost)
>
> P = The problem logged by the pilot.
> S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.
> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
> P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
> S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
> P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
> S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack
> normal seepage.
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> S: Live bugs on backorder.
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.
> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> S: That's what they're there for!
> P: IFF inoperative.
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
> S: Suspect you're right.
> P: Number 3 engine missing.
> S: Engine located on right wing after brief search.
> P: Aircraft handles funny.
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
> P: Target radar hums.
> S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
> P: Mouse in cockpit.
> S: Cat installed.
>
>--
>cathy :-)
>

--
cathy :-)

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