Shane & I read this together & couldn't stop laughing, my Uncle has worked for Qantas for over 30 years & has many tales to tell...
The entries in the "log" from Qantas is very typical of Aussie humor".... hope everyone else enjoyed the giggles too. Qantas doesn't have a "U" in the spelling because it was originally a Queensland airfreight company....now known around the world as the flying Kanagaroo.....
love & hugs.......giggles "n" stuff
At Tue, 12 Feb 2002, cathy:- wrote:
>
>One of the guys at work posted this today, and I thought everybody could
>use a good giggle!
>
>Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, known
>as "squawks," submitted by QUANTAS pilots--and the solution recorded by
>maintenance engineers. By the way, QUANTAS is the only major airline
>that has never had an accident. (almost)
>
> P = The problem logged by the pilot.
> S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.
> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
> P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
> S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
> P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
> S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack
> normal seepage.
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> S: Live bugs on backorder.
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.
> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> S: That's what they're there for!
> P: IFF inoperative.
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
> S: Suspect you're right.
> P: Number 3 engine missing.
> S: Engine located on right wing after brief search.
> P: Aircraft handles funny.
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
> P: Target radar hums.
> S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
> P: Mouse in cockpit.
> S: Cat installed.
>
>--
>cathy :-)
>
-- I am not a medical person, and all my messages are based on personal experience. I am a fellow adhesions sufferer reaching out to help others.