This is the last time I will reply to this incident, from Jo

From: Joanne Eslick (joanne@bombobeach.com)
Wed Feb 13 15:16:30 2002


I was just going to send this to Maria privately and continue on with what I do here on this site and on the IAS board. After I read out this letter to Shane, he convinced me that I should post this response on both boards, so here it is.................

Hi Maria,

I don't believe I have ever attacked Caroline on the IAS site, nor here. Maria, I had made the comment to a member of the board yesterday in a private conversation that I was concerned at the way Caroline attacked me and felt there must be something else in her life that was obviously happening for her to feel the way she did.

Last night I spent some time checking the adhesions quilt to see if I could find Caroline's story, in the hope that I would be able to understand a little bit more about the way she was feeling. Caroline hasn't put her story on the quilt, so unfortunatley I was left unaware of her situation.

As I said in my post to Caroline, had she written to me personally and set out her complaints sensibly, instead of attacking me openly on the board, I would have happily put an apology on the board, or clarified whatever it was that started this campaign against me.

I am sorry that Caroline has had such a hard time, but unless she is more open and honest about her situation, then we can't really help her and that is a real shame. I have friends on the board who haven't been able to have children, and we have many conversations by ICQ or msn about it.

It's sad, I understand that, I also openly say I feel very fortunate to have 4 healthy wonderful daughters, I have also lost 3 children due to miscarriage at various stages of development, and yes, I still grieve for those lost children.

As for prayers for Caroline, she was already in my prayers, I include all adhesions sufferers who I have come across via the board, as well as those like you, who choose to read the messages, but not participate too. There is nothing wrong with that, many of us watched the board for some time before actually posting our first message.

As for me helping others I do, actually I quietly help those who email me to get help, chat, pray do whatever they ask of me in the way of support and understanding. As for being doctors, all my posts have a footnote, as does the bombobeach site that I am not a medical professional just a fellow sufferer reaching out to help others.

Why would I post messages on the note pad asking people for suggestions on what else to include on that site? Why is it that I ask again for people to offer suggestions of other things to be added to the "how to cope" page.

Maria, I am sorry that you feel so upset, I really mean that, but as far as I can see I haven't upset anyone. On any messages talking about surgery etc my message is the same, this is what happened to me, this is why I have chosen no more surgery at this time. I also say that only the individual who is researching and asking questions etc can make the decision for themselves about what their next move will be. By visiting the board and reading other peoples comments or experiences, then that individual can make a better educated choice. When that person decides to have surgery, I always say to them that I will be there if you need me on the otherside, I hope it works out for you.

Attacking me or other individuals openly on a message board like the IAS site & bombobeach.com turns people away, it doesn't show friendship and support. You and Caroline will both remain in my prayers because I wish that no one had to live with pain from adhesions, or the pain, anguish and sadness in knowing that they can't have children. If it was me I would feel cheated & just as hurt as Caroline abviously is.

We open up our lives on these boards, we risk all sorts of strange people contacting us because we have given out so much personal information about ourselves. We make a choice, a conscious and thought out decision to do this and I won't apologise for what I do. I have been thanked by so many people throughout my time on the IAS site and I am not going to let someones pain and anger targeted at me stop me from what I am doing.

Best wishes & prayers to you and Caroline Joanne Eslick - Australia

--
I am not a medical person, and all my messages are based
on personal experience.  I am a fellow adhesions sufferer
reaching out to help others.

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