> Someone on another website shared this and it really tickled my funnybone!
> It's supposed to be questions submitted to a health expert:
>
> Q: Ive heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
> A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste
> them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart
> will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life
> of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
>
> Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
> A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
> corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
> efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
Eat
> chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable).
> And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of
> vegetable slop.
>
> Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
> A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we
all
> know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories:
> animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not
> animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only
> leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy
your
> liquid vegetables.
>
> Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
> A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
> one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
>
> Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
> program?
> A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain - Good.
>
> Q: If I stop smoking, will I live longer?
> A: Nope. Smoking is a sign of individual statement and peace of mind. If
you
> stop, you'll probably stress yourself to death in record time.
>
> Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
> A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In
> fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad
for
> you?
>
> Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?
> A: Thicker gravy.
>
> Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
> middle?
> A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should
> only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
>
> Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
> A: Are you crazy? Cocoa beans... Another vegetable. It's the best feel
good
> food around!
>
> I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
> food and diets.
>
> Have a cookie... flour is a veggie!
>
--Karla
Somewhere up in the stars................. My angel and me!
http://www.geocities.com/karlasfamily2001 http://www.geocities.com/princessd82000/BraydensHaven