My email address is csheedy@netcom.ca Please contact me anytime... I may not be able to help, but I sure as heck can commissurate. I try to be cheerful, but the truth is that since I had the lap a month ago I'm worse too. I don't know why it gets so bad like this. Last night was pretty much the most tormented night I have experienced, and you're not alone when you feel that you can't control the pain, and that you are sinking.
Will power is a funny thing - sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Sally, if there is any way that you can get more rest (I know it's difficult), it may help. For me, the hardest part is accepting what has happened to me, and the fact that there are really no options available here in Canada. I know you've had surgeries, and that they may not have helped, but try to hang on to see how the people returning from Germany do. There's got to be hope somewhere, soon, and we just have to hang on....
Sally, the purpose of this board is to be a support group. Please let us support you. Don't withdraw into the dark world of pain, but come here and vent. I think you need to yell at the world about what has happened to you - at how unfair it all is and how incredibly unjust it is that we suffer, while Drs debate whether we are truly in pain or if we just aren't dealing with it properly. Don't worry about making US depressed, we want to help and support you. You've helped lots of us out, now it is our turn to lend a shoulder to our friend.
I want you to know that I am praying for you, and that you can email me any time.
Love,
-- Clare